Vulnerability.
There was a time that I thought of myself as a bit of an action man, a daredevil, I could and would do things that most people wouldn’t even consider let alone try. I’ve mentioned my years Skydiving, Scuba diving, Mountain biking, Hang gliding, Rock climbing and Flying small planes, I also started training as a helicopter pilot but stopped when I ran out of money. That gives you an idea about my character and personality. I’ve owned seven motorbikes, the last was a Yamaha FZ1000 which quite literally breathed flames, it would do 0 to 60 mph in under 3 seconds and it often did with me clinging to the handlebars and gripping the tank with my thighs. But those days are gone, long gone actually but the weird thing is that in that numb thing resting on my neck there’s a part of me that seems to think I’m the same person. Ok yes I’m still Stefan, the person that could jump tall buildings and thought he was made of steel, but I seem to ignore how fragile I am now and can’t accept my vulnerability. I suppose it could be that I will not accept my current situation as a done deal, the thrill seeker in me isn’t done yet, as they say “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings” and her lips have been super glued.