The way.
I realise now that my situation is not unique, there was a time not that long ago that I honestly believed that most other MS sufferers were simply accepting the diagnosis of the conventional doctors and as such just took the prescribed medication. I’ve often spent time in consideration of what and how I was addressing my illness. I’m sure some others, family and friends thought I was totally wrong by refusing medication, I have a real problem with even saying medication, it’s just an addictive drug created by selfish money grabbing heartless pariahs. I have always told myself that multiple sclerosis in my case was only a temporary thing, I didn’t know how I’d beat it, I just knew I would. I’m sure this attitude was seen by others as denial. My MS nurse came to see me last week and I know she’s only doing what she knows and that is to try and make my life easier, not by healing me but by suggesting things that put less strain on my muscles. That to me is just assisting the disease to get a firmer grip in my already weakened state. She thinks and states that I’m just an accident waiting to happen, I should use a wheelchair permanently and not try to manually manoeuvre about my flat. I can’t look at my life that way, I honestly believe that thinking positively about the outcome is the only way any of us will not just survive but to succeed. I fall yes but when I’m crumpled in a heap on the floor I don’t moan or complain about it, it’s not a good thing obviously but I think about it, have I broken my leg? no, have I done permanent damage? no so get up and get on. That’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my fall on Thursday left me with my legs twisted underneath me, my body twisted and my head and neck at a very awkward angle jammed against the wall. It took several minutes just to be in a prone position on the floor, I couldn’t get up onto the sofa so I spent about 30 minutes crawling to my bedroom and another 30 trying to get up. When I eventually did I was totally exhausted, but it happened, big deal, it was a page in my book of life, no more. If my book is a 1,000 pages then my MS experience will probably account for 150 of them which means I’ve got 850 healthy ones. Multiple sclerosis is a part of my life but it isn’t my life, I know there’s still some MS pages left in my book but there’s at least 150 healthy ones to follow them. I’ve just got to be strong mentally, not do anything stupid and get prepared for the good times to come, and they will, that’s the way I see it..