So much closer…
At this time last year I had just started my fourth month on this protocol, the first two months were quite frankly, horrendous… I think this will be hard for most to truly understand but the horrible days were such an integral and important part of this. As I’ve become more knowledgeable about this method and why every stage, every difficult step is critical and must be followed and adhered to, there’s no point in trying to fool yourself that it’s okay to just ignore a rule…. they are rules not recommendations.
As the first year ended, apart from the difficulties associated with moving house, which I did, I realised how much I’d come on, I know it’s not obvious to most people because this disease is working as hard as it can twenty four hours each day, every second you’re alive there are literally billions of things going wrong amongst the trillions of cells, so being able to slow that army down and make the smallest of improvements is absolutely amazing.
Anyway, now that I’ve just completed my fifteenth month and the small subtle improvements have become constant, so much so that they are being perceived as normal to me, I’m actually dreading this time of year. I so desperately want to enjoy the time with my loved ones, to indulge in the foods, a glass of wine and the Christmas festivities, but I know I can’t…. I’m feeling as if I’ll ruin it for others because I can’t even have gravy on my Christmas dinner, the yeast will knock me back so far.
This Christmas and the coming ones will be very difficult for me because I know I’ll have so much to lose if I make a selfish mistake now that every day I’m so much closer to my goal.