Not the same.
I try to put myself in a positive state of mind from the get go , as I become aware of myself, you know what I mean, when your eyes are still closed but you know that you’re not asleep anymore….. well I start to tell myself that I’m going to feel great today even before I’ve actually tried moving. Yes I suppose it’s sort of brainwashing myself but I believe the mind plays a massive part in our healing, if I tell myself that I’m going to be strong and more capable today, then I will, won’t I… sometimes my mind isn’t quite strong enough….. yet, although I do feel good for several hours at least and that’s got to be good. I’m obviously not as good as I’d like to be but I’m a “work in progress” and it’ll happen…
I’m writing this at 6.30 a.m. Thursday morning and I’ve been awake for an hour, I’ve gone through my normal morning rituals, the meditation and mantras but something’s different, I can’t put my finger on it exactly but for some reason it’s not the same…I feel more physically aware of my toes, my limbs and my body in general, my typing seems easier, I’m making far fewer mistakes, not having to constantly “backspace” to correct the the fact I’ve been hitting the wrong letters.
I’ve commented before about making improvements in the past and there’s no doubt I’ve done that, today feels like I’ve taken another step, a bigger one this time, I know it’s still early, 7.05 now and I’ve not got out of bed yet, but it feels good.
There’s lots of people that are just starting on this protocol and going through what we all do, difficult, painful and frustrating times, but it’s necessary to do it properly, it’s part of the healing process, I know it’s annoying but don’t get despondent, stick to it and believe it will happen. My first two months were really hard for me, falling regularly and feeling really weak is tough when you live alone but I just kept telling myself that I would not be beaten, and I’m so pleased that my stubborn attitude is paying dividends now.