Never going to happen..
The way I see things, is that yes of course I’m almost 63.. sixty freaking three!!!!! I can remember when I was a young man in the army, I thought of myself as being made of steel and able to jump over small buildings, okay maybe not like Superman really but I had that teenage bravado that made me think I was indestructible. And here I am… sixty two and 9 months…….still feels weird saying that…I was officially diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 48 and a bit, meaning I’ve had this hideous shitbag of a disease…. excuse me.. for almost 15 years and apart from the last 4 years of marriage and a year with a girlfriend several years ago, I’ve been on my own. In some ways that’s made me stronger and better able to deal with it.. Yes I know I’m doing the typical Stefan thing and digressing……. so yes, 63, living alone with multiple sclerosis, but….. but, I don’t see myself in that way…I don’t think of myself as a sick old geezer trying desperately to get up a steep hill… oh no… I’m Stefan the skydiving adrenaline junkie that’s just put my life on hold, I’ve simply hit the pause button until I’ve got all the good things back in place, all sorted so I can hit the resume play button and get back to living…
Okay yes I’m an optimist, I have to be because I cannot accept defeat to the evil bad guy that crept in and started squatting in my body…I know I will succeed, I’ll kick the unwanted guest firmly between the legs and laugh as he doubles over and falls out of my place, of that there is no doubt…still a way to go yet obviously, but It’s simple, I haven’t failed until I quit trying, and that’s never going to happen.