Determination.
Having a disease, any of the any so called incurable diseases is a difficult and stressful thing to deal with, I remember back in February 2004 when I was diagnosed, I’d only been in Colorado for 2 years, I’d moved over there because I was under the impression that the Coloradan woman I’d married believed in the vows of marriage. Six years later the “in sickness and in health” seemed to be a non relevant part…. whatever.. no matter now.
Anyway, the incurable disease part… to clarify, it’s incurable if you are a brainwashed medical professional, not me or thousands of others…
I try to always make my posts positive, it’s not as if I’m blindly following an untested, unproven snake oil salesman’s “cure all” bottle of foul tasting liquid, no… I’m adhering to a dietary and nutritional method that works.. So whatever happens to me during the day, good or bad, I always know that it’s a stage, a part of the healing process, and having this confidence enables me to persevere.
However, it’s not as if everyday is just filled with positives, yes, of late there’s been several positive changes, but it’s not as if they’ve all been daisy chained together. On the contrary actually, since the second month there’s been improvements, minor ones that have steadily become more substantial but not just them.
Take today for instance (Thursday) I’ve definitely felt strong and stable most of the time but there’s also been really frustrating and painful parts inbetween, at around 6 pm while trying to take my last supplements, a capsule got stuck in my throat and I felt as if I was choking until 15 mins later when it cleared, then while trying to get to the bathroom, my legs seemed to the magnetized to the floor, so even furniture walking was really hard, to make matters worse what little strength I had felt like it had been sucked out of me. But….. I’m in my bed about to watch Emmerdale, I know, I know… I’ve become a wuss, but I’m feeling really good again, the drained feeling I had has gone. The Journey I’m on is going to take two or three years before I’m truly healed, there’ll be some bad days I’m sure but more and more good days that will eventually merge together, it’ll be tough but you know what’ll get me there? Unbreakable determination..