There is no financial incentive for me to maintain my blog, I just feel that it’s something I must do. In some ways it’s almost as if I’m inspiring myself, on the surface the signs of my defeat are obvious. I’m struggling in every physical way, I’m in pain 24/7 and so frustrated by my body’s inability to function in what is the most basic fashion. So by writing most days it’s a way of convincing myself that I must continue. The phrase “Against all odds” is one that I feel I must live up to, to prove I am better than, I have an inner strength far greater than that of most others. To succeed, to overcome when it feels there is no hope, when it would be so easy to give up, it’s not a nice feeling to constantly be so limited, so powerless, so weak physically, but somewhere deep inside of this strange and weird head of mine there’s a tiny light blinking on and off reminding me that although it’s dark all around me and I feel I’m trying to drag myself through a very narrow tunnel half filled with muddy water that in the distance there’s a flickering light.
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