Another day…
A lot of people will tell you that they are very strong mentally and see things for what they are, the ones that look at the bad things that happen in life and tell you “it is what it is” so “deal with it”. When I was younger this seemed like the best way to move forward, being a “Realist” was being strong mentally. As I got older my view, my attitude to life changed, fortunately… I remember once when my skydiving team were jumping into the Ponsborn Park Hotel trying to get sponsorship from Lowenbrau.
I had a banner strapped to my leg which was supposed to drape behind when I came under canopy, unfortunately it came adrift in freefall and was streaming behind me. I new that if I deployed my main chute it would become tangle with the banner and not open. Now remember I was falling at around 125 miles per hour, or terminal velocity. So, as all skydivers would do I didn’t panic even though I was less that twenty seconds before the earth and I would meet… The banner was tied to my harness, then a ten foot rope extended from that with a small sandbag which would keep it tight below me, before being deployed it was inside my jumpsuit. So as the seconds ticked by and each one made me 176 ft closer to earth you can understand in order to get the bag out of my zipped jumpsuit, I had to remain calm. Obviously I did it and deployed my canopy about 500 ft above ground, that’s less than three seconds from impact, so if I’d still been a realist and said “it is what it is”, I would have “gone in” and wouldn’t have had the incredible memories I’ve had.
Why am I telling you this? What has it to do with MS and the Ann Boroch protocol? Well in 2004 I was told by a neurologist in Denver, Colorado that I had an incurable life threatening disease…
I didn’t accept his prognosis, I didn’t say “okay, it is what it is, I’ll just take the drugs and wait to die”…
The feeling was exactly the same as that skydiving incident, no I didn’t have 20 seconds to save my life, I have much longer, so although I’ve tried fifty plus things that haven’t worked, the ABP IS….and my eternal optimism has enabled me to stay alive and….
Fight another day
What it wants
This past week I think I let myself down, let me clarify that negative statement and my reasoning. As I’ve said many times before, I don’t think I’m better than anyone else but I know for a fact that I’m different…. It might seem narcissistic but I’ve always been proud of my physical abilities. I’ve loved working out, be it with weights in the gym, hiking, road running or mountain biking. I’ve written about my skydiving and several other sports that were major parts of my life, so going from an adrenaline junkie to an MS suffer was a huge culture shock in my life. But I’ve always tried to beat MS and never ever taken the med’s (drugs) the doctors wanted me to poison my body with.
About a month ago I stopped exercising as I had been, let me make this very clear for the “testa cuadra”…. I just stopped of my own volition… What happened because of this is what happens to everyone with MS, muscle atrophy takes over, my legs became weaker so physical movement became extremely difficult, my arms and shoulders which I’ve always been proud of, now performed like an old mans, yes I know I’m 64 but that just wasn’t acceptable to me.
On Sunday I think something clicked in my head and I gave myself a good slapping (verbally) then started exercising again, I appreciate Trevor and his efforts are great for the majority of others, but as I said, I’m different and have always been able to inspire and motivate myself. Over the last three days I honestly believe I’ve made a huge difference mentally and it’s definitely helped physically.
What I’ve done, even though I was exhausted, is to do things I struggled to complete, but I’m feeling so much better, what I’ve done is what my body needs, not….
What it wants
Two years.
Is it really two whole years, that’s 730 days..or.17,520 hours…. Wow….that seems amazing to me because after day one on the ABP which was September 1st 2017 I really, really thought there was absolutely no way I could do this. As far as I was concerned the bad day I’d had was far worse than any of my previous MS days. Obviously it was much worse for me than it was for anyone else, well that was going through my mind, that was how I was justifying to myself why this supposedly successful method to heal the body just couldn’t possibly work for me.
Fast forward two years and I realise that everyone doing this has exactly the same thoughts, sadly not everyone has the same inner strength to persevere, the protocol is strict, it requires determination and absolute belief. As I said it’s probably only 25% of starters that see it through, that being said you have to understand that doing this properly makes you a very lucky and extremely special person. Lucky because you Will be healed and special because You will have beaten what the world’s medical experts say can’t be done and in my book that makes you an amazingly special person.
Since starting two years ago, I’ve written just over 200 posts, I think it’s obvious that I enjoy doing it, but it’s not just because I’m indulging myself, I write as a way of hopefully inspiring others on this journey and also to constantly remind myself of the progress I’m making. There has been occasions when I’ve struggled but we all do, it’s a necessary step we all make. I want others to see that 95% of the time at this stage I feel that I’m moving forward but now and then something I’ve eaten kicks my butt. Luckily those times are rare and it usually is only an issue for a matter of hours.
At the end of the day multiple sclerosis is a sneaky, evil, hideous and misunderstood disease. It takes great pleasure in knocking me down whenever I give it the chance because that’s what’s happening. If I give in to my taste buds and eat something I know is wrong then all the good work I’ve been diligently doing is temporarily pushed aside. Fortunately with patience and determination I get back up.
I’m 100% committed in completing what I started, why?….. Because I want to live again not simply exist as a prisoner…
I’m not unique, thousands have gone before me and done what I know I’ll do as well, I don’t think I’m better than anyone else, but I do know that I’m one of a very special group that are healed or are healing.
I don’t know you personally but I’m asking all like minded warriors to..
Join me.
Obviously not…
During the 63 years I’ve been alive I think lead an interesting and varied life, the early years in Liverpool were hard as I’m sure you can imagine, 9 of us living in a two up two down house with no bathroom just an outside loo with a chain pull cistern, no toilet seat and had to use torn up newspaper. As number three in the clan of seven kids it was no harder or easier for me, a difficult black and white life with very little in the way of home comforts taught me a great deal, I learned how to cook and look after myself and so many life skills not needed by the kids of today.
The Army as a boy soldier also put me on a four year learning curve that helped me so much in my adult life, I can’t say it was brilliant but I think I did reasonably well in computer sales and management leading up to a $500,000 house in the USA then becoming the client service director for Dr Hal Huggins who was the world leading authority in biological dentistry and body chemistry rebalancing.
Not bad for a Liverpool lad that had nothing but plenty of love and guidance from my amazing mum who I love and talk with at least twice each week. During my time with Dr Huggins, I am confident in saying that I helped many of the thousands I talked with. It’s in my nature to help others and I think I’ve done that since my return 6 years ago.
What I don’t understand is that my son hasn’t seen me or even called me in 7 years, my daughter came to see me a couple of months after I came back but since then she got married and has had 2 kids, none of those things she told me about, that information came via others who heard about it on social media.
It’s very sad and I try not to think about but inevitably do and have a cry, not a tough cookie after all…. whatever!!!, I’d like to think I’m a good man and I’m sure there are many others that think that way, I’d hoped my daughter Lucy and son Joshua thought the same…. Obviously not..
What if…
Since I started on the Ann Boroch Protocol a year ago it filled me with something more than hope, it changed the very inner me…. does that make sense!!… it sort of strengthened my resolution to keep trying and fight through the pain and discomfort no matter how difficult it got….
Over my first year there’s been times, not days or hours but minutes and then only seconds when I had doubts…. seconds that would fade away as I took deep breaths and reminded myself that it’s working, that overall I’m feeling stronger, more balance and stability and it had gotten easier to become accustomed to feeling better so that when a slight very temporary negative happened I let that take a dominant role…it was easy to forget that in reality I’d been diagnosed with what the world of traditional medicine, the neurologists, the people that are perceived to be experts in their profession all say… categorically state the disease I have is incurable. That’s their view, their opinion , that’s not what I know… not what I think or my misguided opinion… it’s what I know!!!!.
So take a second and think about what I’m saying and the difference between the multi billion dollar world of medicine, the doctors and neurologists, them and then me, they have an opinion, but I know and….. what if I’m right…
Impossible…
I was a very active, competitive and reasonably successful man, all through my life I’ve done things and been to places most others wouldn’t have done, I say wouldn’t not couldn’t because those things were important to me but not necessarily to anyone else. Because I had good, well paying jobs I was able to travel a lot, 23 countries to be exact, in these visits I didn’t lay on beaches during the day and go clubbing at night, neither have ever apppealed to me. I explored and experienced different cultures, now that and all the memories I have makes me happy.
I was born in a two up, two down council house where nine of us lived in a tough part of Liverpool. I was a typical Liverpool lad until I left school at 15 and went to the Army Apprentice College in Chepstow, South Wales… The “attitude” was beaten out of me and put me into a mental state that changed… improved my life.
Between 20 and 45 yrs old I did more than 99% of people will do in a lifetime, I did 834 skydives, I was actually in the Guinness book of records between 1989 and 1997, I was a hang glider, scuba diver, mountain biker, rock climber and I got my pilots license in 43 hours, the national average in the USA where I learned to fly, was 75 hours….I was 48 when I was diagnosed with MS, so life as I knew it changed.
I know I’ve done a lot but there is so much more I will do when I’m healed and I know I will be, of that I am 100% certain… the heading of this post is Impossible…
Impossible is not a fact its only an opinion….
Land of the living.
It’s been a really difficult time for me, almost a month of days that I’ve dreaded, I know to some people the gorgeous sunny days were fantastic, a non typical period to have had brilliant weather throughout Wimbledon, but they’ve been killers to me. It never casted doubts in my mind, not at all because since September 1st 2017 It’s been going exactly to plan, the bad days that dominated month one, the small improvements over two, three and four, the steady positive changes since then have been so encouraging. So to have such negativity that was seemingly instigated by sunny days was a tad frustrating, I don’t get depressed because I know it’s only temporary, I just go to bed and have the bedroom window open and the fan on high. It’s not perfect for me yet but I feel like I’m back in the land of the living which, trust me, is so nice. My thoughts throughout this period have revolved around my thyroid… that little butterfly shaped gland in my neck that amongst other things controls the body’s ability to deal with temperatures. So I’ve been tweaking my supplements a bit, it’s frustrating when you know certain things but the brain gets all fuzzy and easily overwhelmed resulting in not wanting to do anything especially not reading or researching. But as I said, it seems to have cooled enough that my brain is working a bit better and just as important, physically I’m not constantly exhausted, so as Jack Nicholson said in “The Shining”…. “I’m Back”..
Thank you.
When I wrote yesterday about needing help finding solutions to two problems making the already painful symptoms of MS a little worse and more difficult to cope with I did get several suggestions, so thanks for them all. However, they were all ones that I already do or aren’t possible, I’m not able to stand for more that a few seconds in a shower, and getting in and out would be very dangerous in my condition. I live alone and have a carer for an hour each day at lunchtime. I wear shorts and T shirts all year round apart from a few winter months when it gets really cold, I’m 99% of the time bare footed. My hands and feet become very hot in bed so for the majority of the time they are uncovered which is strange because they feel really cold but two minutes after covering them they feel like they are wrapped in boiling hot towels, so I struggle to uncover them again. I’ve tried a multitude of variations with drinking water, I’ve had some scary times….. really scary, some nasty falls and total inability to get up which has been horrendous knowing I have a “Hummingbird bladder”… So not drinking so much is simply not an option, I have to drink around 5 litres of liquid each day, primarily water+ and three cups of red clover tea. Two of the 16 different supplements I take are Saw Palmetto and Pumpkin seed oil, both of which help with the number of bathroom visits I have which even with them is still about 25…getting to the loo is exhausting, then there’s also the self catheters so the carpet path to the loo is quite obvious..lol.
Overall…. I’m very happy about the progress I’ve made on the ABP since September last year, things are tough, painful, frustrating and at times very awkward, but…. but so much better than they used to be. When I compare how I feel and how I’m coping now to 8 1/2 months ago, everything is massively better and I consider myself very, very lucky, I feel taking the CBD oil 3 times a day (half pipette) has definitely helped. Once again thanks for the suggestions and heartfelt thanks as always to Janet and also to Jeurgen re CBD oil.
A Pig…
As you will have ascertained from reading my posts, I wear my heart on my sleeve and “tell it like it is”… nothing to hide and a 100% belief in what I’m saying and doing. As I’ve said before, my body’s inability to cope with heat and becoming extremely fatigued 4 or 5 hours after moving about is severely debilitating and a tad frustrating to say the least, Monday was one of those days, in fact it was a pig. When I say Pig….. I’m not referring to an animal of course, just the accepted description of a terrible day, I really struggled and if it wasn’t for Diane, my Monday and Thursday carer I’d have been in serious trouble.
I’ve searched and searched for hours and days in fact for a way of alleviating this problem but as yet have not found an answer, so I’m reaching out to everyone that reads this, I feel I’m quite knowledgeable when it comes to health, nutrition and the symptoms of multiple sclerosis but when it comes to this, I’m hitting a brick wall and I’m not too proud to ask for help.
My reasoning thus far has been on two areas mainly, my thyroid firstly and secondly red blood cells, the reasons being is that the thyroid is responsible for metabolism and the body’s ability to adjust to variations in temperature, then, haemoglobin, a component of red blood cells has 4 ports that carry oxygen or oxyhaemaglobin. I’ve tried to increase my RBC count to hopefully improve the oxygen levels of my organs which in my mind should help…. any suggestions?
Just a ‘t…
A TV commercial inspired this post, normally when I see commercials on TV they make me sad because they tend to be based on lies, you know the ones promoting a food that’s supposedly good for your health or will help you lose weight, when in reality they’re loaded with taste enhancers or sugar or both and are more likely to damage you.
Well in this case it’s not, it’s just about a freaking letter, a ‘t’ and the addition of which can and often does mentally prevent you from succeeding in your long term goal.
As I’ve said before ” what you believe, you make true”… if you think you can, or if you think you can’t…. you’re right… So it all comes down to a simple letter as to succeeding, the letter ‘t’…
I personally have an overwhelming desire to walk on the beach again in St Augustine, Florida and to hike in the Rocky mountains, both places I lived for a total of thirteen years, I want to run the streets again, in the rain listening to music on my iPod. Will I do them again? If I believe it, then yes I will… How… because there’s no ‘t’ in Can..