Rather Be Healthy

It’s confusing.

First thing Saturday morning and I can honestly say I felt better than I have in years, really, okay yes I was still limited to shuffling from pieces of furniture to walls to move around but the fact is I felt confident and positive. After lunch I still went to bed for a few hours but not because I needed to, I went more as a safety precaution. Obviously of late I’ve actually needed to go, so rather than feeling that way in an hour and struggling I felt it safer to go at 12.30 which I did. I felt good in myself so returned to the living room at 4.30. During the three hours I read for an hour or so then meditated, when I returned to watch Two and  half men which I’d recorded I still felt good. This is the confusing part, a couple of hours later I was so weak and unstable, it’s actually quite frightening, my legs were like jelly and I really struggled to even hold my walker. I really cannot understand why that is happening, going from one extreme to the other. Please understand that this isn’t shaking my confidence or putting doubts in my head, I still believe in this program 100%,  it’s just  so confusing, any thoughts, Janet, Marianne, anyone?

The way.

I realise now that my situation is not unique, there was a time not that long ago that I honestly believed that most other MS sufferers were simply accepting the diagnosis of the conventional doctors and as such just took the prescribed medication. I’ve often spent time in consideration of what and how I was addressing my illness. I’m sure some others, family and friends thought I was totally wrong by refusing medication, I have a real problem with even saying medication, it’s just an addictive drug created by selfish money grabbing heartless pariahs. I have always told myself that multiple sclerosis in my case was only a temporary thing, I didn’t know how I’d beat it, I just knew I would. I’m sure this attitude was seen by others as denial. My MS nurse came to see me last week and I know she’s only doing what she knows and that is to try and make my life easier, not by healing me but by suggesting things that put less strain on my muscles. That to me is just assisting the disease to get a firmer grip in my already weakened state. She thinks and states that I’m just an accident waiting to happen, I should use a wheelchair permanently and not try to manually manoeuvre about my flat. I can’t look at my life that way, I honestly believe that thinking positively about the outcome is the only way any of us will not just survive but to succeed. I fall yes but when I’m crumpled in a heap on the floor I don’t moan or complain about it, it’s not a good thing obviously but I think about it, have I broken my leg? no, have I done permanent damage? no so get up and get on. That’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my fall on Thursday left me with my legs twisted underneath me, my body twisted and my head and neck at a very awkward angle jammed against the wall. It took several minutes just to be in a prone position on the floor, I couldn’t get up onto the sofa so I spent about 30 minutes crawling to my bedroom and another 30 trying to get up. When I eventually did I was totally exhausted, but it happened, big deal, it was a page in my book of life, no more. If my book is a 1,000 pages then my MS experience will probably account for 150 of them which means I’ve got 850 healthy ones. Multiple sclerosis is a part of my life but it isn’t my life, I know there’s still some MS pages left in my book but there’s at least 150 healthy ones to follow them. I’ve just got to be strong mentally, not do anything stupid and get prepared for the good times to come, and they will, that’s the way I see it..

Over confident.

The program is the program, it works and when it’s followed correctly the results will come, however there are no identical MS sufferers, the disease affects everyone uniquely, because of age, gender, age at getting it, the location , the altitude, stress or lack of it, single or with someone. You get my drift, everyone is different so it stands to reason that the results, the speed of improvements will vary. I know all this and should get it through my thick skull that the improvements happen as and when the body, the place you live tells you it’s ready to do certain things. I’m saying this as a way to actually acknowledge what I know and react accordingly not tell myself that I should be able, regardless of my body saying “no, not yet”. Case in point… I’m feeling better and better in lots of ways, mentally and physically, my coordination and dexterity, my writing is much better, now it looks like actual writing as opposed to a doctor’s prescription. Yes those things are better, “but Stefan, you can’t walk unaided yet”. That’s what I tried to do at 6.40 p.m on Thursday. but as expected the legs didn’t comply with the brain and guess what happened, yes you’re right, crash… but rubber me bounced off the wall using the numb part on top of my neck, my head. I think that secretly my noggin enjoys the firm physical contact with its old friend the wall. Anyway it was an hour later that my specialised commando crawl got me the 15 feet to my bed… hmmm maybe I’m not a super fit 25 yr old anymore as my ego thinks. The lesson for the day is “stop being overconfident”.

It really is..

When I started this six weeks ago I definitely thought that there would be a few changes, a few foods that I would eliminate, some additional supplements and that would be it.  Over the first five weeks there’s no doubt that I’d experienced some improvements as anyone reading my posts would clearly have seen. But the improvements seemed to be followed by at least one and sometimes two bad days. I know this was only to be expected and as far as I was concerned the good was certainly outnumbering the bad so not a problem. As I mentioned in my previous post I’d eliminated a Youngevity drink because of the fructose content, I needed a replacement so asked my carer to mix some hot chocolate powder into cold coconut milk. I had it Wednesday morning and it was delicious. But….. and a big but was that for some unbeknownst reason my brain didn’t take into consideration that there was around 7 grams of sugar in the chocolate powder and probably the same in the coconut milk…. Hello!!!!     An hour after drinking it I was very lucky to have made it to the loo before what was in me, left rather erratically, I spent a good 75 minutes sat on the single white porcelain seat. Needless to say all the little treats I’ve been lying to myself about are no more. Apart from three hours in the middle of the day I’ve felt great. Thusrday will be even better because nothing with a hint of sugar in it will enter my body, I know it’s bad and in the main I’ve restricted it to 5 or 6 grams daily but that sweet stuff is poison to my body, it really is, and I should have known better.

To us superheroes.

Looking at my life so far, and there’s lots more to come, it’s been quite an experience, going back to the beginning in a little two up two down with an outside loo, well in reality it was just three walls with a very basic door surrounding a toilet with a chain pull cistern fixed to the wall. Mum, dad and seven kids lived there, home comforts were something I saw other people had while I was watching a small black and white TV. I left school at 15 to go to the Army Apprentice College in Chepstow, south Wales. Jumping forward ten years and I started my skydiving experience, this was followed by hang gliding, I’d also been very into rock climbing as well. Several years and many fast motorbikes and mountain bikes later I moved to America to live in the Rocky Mountains, not a log cabin covered in snow but working in the I.T. industry in Denver and Colorado springs. Before moving to Colorado I’d learned to fly small planes and almost qualified as a helicopter pilot but ran out of the green stuff, that was in Florida where I‘d lived for two years. While in Colorado I was diagnosed with MS, that was in Feb 04, I refused to take the medication because I knew the ridiculous drugs did no more that treat symptoms and cause havoc in the body. So I treated myself with what I thought was the best nutrition and natural supplements. I continued to work full time as a director for the World leading authority in Biological dentistry and body chemistry re-balancing until April 2011. I struggled yes, but the arrogant I won’t be beaten me continued as best I could, eventually all my savings disappeared and with no unemployment or healthcare I gave up. If it wasn’t for two fantastic women, mum and Suzie bringing me back I’d be history. I cannot express my love and gratitude enough. Anyway it’s been five years next month since I returned and without a doubt I’m in a far better place physically and mentally but it’s not been easy. I’ve fallen at least 50 times, some have been horrendous, how I’ve not broken my leg numerous times amazes me, my head still has a lump from a fall a month or so ago, last year I nearly ripped my ear off, literally, the pain was excruciating. Oh yes up know why I haven’t, because I’m made of steel and can leap tall buildings, maybe not, I suppose it’s because I’m incredibly lucky. I’m sure my story isn’t unique and others have been through the same and worse. So to all of us superheroes, let’s be strong and know we’ll all get through this.

P.S. I was also in the Guinness book of records between 1989 and 97 for being on the 60 way skydive.

New lease..

Since starting on the Ann Boroch protocol at the beginning of September, things have changed in my day to day life, starting with the dominant factor, diet, although several aspects of the foods to eat and not eat were similar on the not eating side it’s the “eating” side that changed a little. Being lactose and gluten intolerant already there wasn’t many foods I had to eliminate, I had already limit my sugar intake to about 10 grams daily so again that wasn’t an issue, I suppose it’s the limiting of fructose, fruit sugars and honey that caused a slight problem to start but not anymore. Because of my background I have always seen the nutritional limitation of current day farming and processed foods, because of this I’ve ensured I get 90% of the essential nutrients from the Youngevity supplements. After chatting with Janet I’ve made some adjustments and as one group contained fructose it’s been eliminated and there’s a good chance my current afternoon weakness will subside.

Anyway getting back, there are two or three things I’ve added such as a herbal anti fungal, digestive enzymes and adrenal support to my thrice daily regimen.

I’ve noticed a few changes physically, small and subtle but nevertheless, changes, improvements. But the biggest and most dramatic is that before the start I knew I would get better, I just didn’t know how, now I know and it’s an incredible feeling, I see things differently, I actually feel that I have a completely new lease on life.

Sunday.

Sunday was the third consecutive good day which obviously pleased me, as suggested by Janet and Marianne, I’m not so much keeping a journal per se as simply writing the same line of text with the current date in order to gauge the difference in my hand writing as I progress on my healing journey. My blog is written, typed, probably six days per week, I do this as I’ve said before to inspire and motivate myself, if it can help others then that really pleases me. When I started working for Dr Huggins at Huggins Applied Healing in Colorado Springs, Colorado, I would talk to people enquiring about his therapy or his supplements but mostly to existing clients and patients. I have no delusions of grandeur or think of myself in the same way as Dr Huggins because although I was very knowledgeable of his treatment, in reality my knowledge was equal to what “Doc” had in his little finger. But over the years a lot of people and quite a few of the dentists that had been trained by Dr Huggins would ask me rather than bother doc. In reality this made me very happy to think they had faith in my knowledge and experience, but please understand I knew diddly squat in comparison to him. During my time with him I talked with more than 17,500 people, many of whom I helped a lot. I’ve said before that my work with Dr Huggins is the most fulfilling of my life.

I see what I’m doing now as in following the Ann Boroch protocol as an incredible journey which I maybe on for an indefinite period of time but succeeding in my mind is a guaranteed conclusion.

The knowledge and experience I gained between 2007 and 2011 is something that can never be taken away, there are some people I think about regularly like Caroline and Shari who I worked with, Dr,s Grube and Rothchild, clients that became friends like Ali and Dottie, yes I’m thousands of miles and a freaking huge ocean away but don’t forget me, cos as Arnie said….. “I’ll be back”.

Friday was a great day for me, I felt good in several ways, definitely stronger and more stable physically but I think what pleased me the most was my fine motor skills, my fingers were a lot more capable when handling my supplements which can be a little fiddly. Mentally I also seemed more competent and less overwhelmed. Some days I find myself frustrated when I know this is working but part of me, the “I want it now” part, forgets that there are thousands of things happening inside this massively complex body of mine every second, some of the good things are trying their best to fix what is wrong. At the same time there’s just as many parasites, pathogens, fungi and yeast trying just as had to stay where they are, messing up the correct functioning of my organs. So I have to give myself a good slapping, not literally of course, but sit in the quiet, meditate and believe that my body just wants me to help myself to help myself…. does that make sense?

I talk to myself a lot knowing that I can be an awkward stubborn scouse git sometimes, I know you find that hard to believe…. not.. I talk to myself because I know I’ll bloody question everything I think about… I don’t think I just can’t make my mind up, I just want to try and see things from every angle so I can do the right thing. I’ve read Ann’s book more than once and to be honest I just cannot see anything wrong, she did it right and that’s got to be respected and admired, you were amazing… R.I.P.

Should I be worried.

According to my reckoning, Tuesday being a “not good” day meant that Wednesday was hopefully the start of a multi day sequence of “good days”, well that was what was supposed to happen according to me. As I said the other day, the AB method works, of that there’s no doubt, but there’s no guarantee as far as timing is concerned. Anyway Thursday started well, I was expecting Louise who cuts my hair to come at  12.30 to 1.0 so I couldn’t go for my rest as I usually do. She arrived a little earlier which I was grateful for, but I became frighteningly weak and really struggled just getting in the chair. Anyway 20 minutes later my hair had been cut so I excused myself and suggested she clean up the cuttings and I’d go lay down. This is where it got embarrassing for me as even using the walker was impossible, I couldn’t move my legs. Louise very kindly let me sit on the walker and she dragged me to my bed. The weird thing is that the same thing, as in the weakness happens everyday at roughly the same time. A week or so ago I thought it was the “Eat Natural” protein bars, obviously not as I’ve not eaten one for a week or had a replacement, so what’s causing this, I just don’t know, should I be worried. Well  I suppose Thursday was a bad day, an unexpected one so that should mean Friday will be good.

Looking good.

As expected, Wednesday was a good day, I felt great mentally, physically and emotionally, the first two are definitely important to me in just getting around my flat, but in some ways it’s the third part, emotionally that helped me the most. I tell myself and others, as you’ll have noticed, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I write about how I’m feeling and what i firmly believe and am expecting. There’s no guarantee that this method, the one Ann Boroch perfected to cure herself and is being done by others but there’s no guarantee it will work for me. So I’m writing about what I believe will happen, based on what I’ve read and my own expectations.Tuesday was not a good day really, so based on the past cycle of events, Wednesday and the following X number of days will be good. For that to start as it did on Wednesday was emotionally a really good feeling and reaffirmed mentally what I’m doing.

I had a visitor on Wednesday morning from National Statistics to carry out a survey as they’ve done for the past couple of years. After the survey which took an hour or so I spent a few minutes, actually it was more than that explaining about this program and my beliefs of the end result. I felt very capable moving around, obviously I’m very limited because of the MS but he commented that all things taken into consideration that I was looking good.