Rather Be Healthy

Different perspective.

Firstly I must say that I respect other people’s opinions and accept you all have the right to have them, secondly, and please don’t be offended, other people’s view or opinion of how and what you think I should do matters diddly squat when it comes to my health and how I’m addressing the problem. Thirdly I have to clarify the first two points, they make no difference to me unless you are making suggestions and offering advice and making these from a place of experience, as in you genuinely understand the thinking of a person with multiple sclerosis and have in-depth knowledge of Ann Boroch and her research. And lastly on this topic, thank you for the positive wishes and consideration of my circumstances, I do appreciate them.

Prior to me getting MS in 2004 my life was very different, I was a very active sportsman, yes most of them being what normal people consider to be adrenaline junky sports, regardless, I loved the physicality of them all. To me there was nothing worse than being a boring couch potato and never having to exert myself physically or mentally, I’ve always loved reading but that tended to be a last thing at night before sleep thing, not a major daily activity.

Life has changed for me as you know, and rather than feeling sorry for myself, there’s no ” oh poor me” feelings, I’ve seen this as a challenge, almost a dare…. “Go on then, I challenge you, I dare you to beat me”…. said by the disease… I don’t back down from a dare and I accept the challenge.

Am I happy about having a so called incurable disease?.. No

Am I happy about being in my flat 24/7… No

Am I okay with it… hmmm…. it is what it is and there is only one person that can change it…. Me.

My situation now in comparison to life pre MS is extremely boring, or it would be if I was still the Stefan of old, now I’m just Stefan that’s old, haha, but I’m also significantly more experienced and knowledgeable and focused, now I have a job to do, one that occupies every minute of everyday, now I have a totally different perspective.

Do anything ….

I think getting multiple sclerosis is a terrible thing at any time of life,, in my case I was 48 and had been lucky enough to have done so many things, not just the exciting speed related things but the travel as well had been amazing. I worked it out the other day that I’ve been to 23 countries around the world, some only fleeting trips but others like the USA where I’ve lived, worked and had been to 22 of the 50 states, so I consider myself very lucky really. If I’d got MS at 30 yrs old then a lot of my adventures would never have happened.

Because of my inquisitive mind and the years working for Dr Huggins in Colorado I’ve developed a very strong interest in health, obviously very much linked to my own problem, multiple sclerosis and now I’m following the protocol developed by Ann Boroch to rid the body of this disease.

There are very detailed guidelines regarding foods that should and shouldn’t be eaten as well as the natural supplements that aid the various organs compensate and adjust to the changes that have to happen in order for this to be successful.

However something the guidelines can’t account for is the fact that everyone is different, our age, now and when we contracted the disease will mean a variance in the ability of the organs to function correctly. Gender, lifestyle, location, support system and thousands of other variables. A 50,000 piece jigsaw puzzle combined with a Rubix cube are child’s play in comparison,  the fact that it can feel as if I’m trying to solve a never ending puzzle thar when a wrong move is made it isn’t just a frustrating try again problem, it’s a really painful debilitating experience that can easily push me off the path. I’m referring to the horrendous experience in the early hours of Thursday morning. At the time, as weak and motionless as a newborn babe, sitting there freezing cold but covered in sweat with the coordination of someone trying to thread a needle while wearing boxing gloves, then yes I was thinking of giving up. Actually saying I was thinking isn’t really accurate because the thought came and went in the blink of an eye.  The ABP works, it does however require me to read labels, to be strong mentally, to be determined and to want one thing more than anything else, to want to win and will do anything to make that happen and nothing is going to change that.

Down escalator.
I wasn’t sure I firstly wanted to write and secondly to post it, so if you’re seeing this then obviously I did, I’ve said before I wear my heart on my sleeve so others would know what’s happening, good or bad…. I’m writing this a 2.05 am Thursday morning and I’ve just experienced a horrendous 2 hours, because of how great I’ve been feeling especially on Wednesday morning, I was quite shocked, like being on a down escalator but trying desperately to walk up with a 100lb rucksack on my back… Okay I’ll backtrack to Wednesday morning, when Megan my carer came around at 11.30 I told her that I was feeling better than ever, strong, stable physically and mentally. My lunch was a bowl off broccoli and cauliflower with cayenne pepper in a knorr chicken stock cube, it was yummy and so filling. However, minutes, literally minutes after I felt as if all my strength was sucked out of me, getting to the bathroom was a major challenge. Fortunately there was no mishaps, I then asked Megan to get my afternoon supplements and bring them to me once I’d got settled in bed, my thoughts were it would be safer to go rest then at midday rather than wait till she left. I stayed in bed for a few hours and felt good so returned to the living room. She’d made two halves of a pitta bread, gluten free with some fresh sliced beef which I ate at 5.00, then as usual I went back to bed to watch a bit of telly and read. About midnight I settled down to sleep, by the way this is roughly my fourth week of no sleeping pills which I’ve had to take for 25 years. It must have been about half an hour later that the nausea and feelings of needing to get to the bathroom became overwhelming. Trying to sit up was nigh on impossible, if you could have seen me it was laughable but after fifteen minutes I did, I was totally exhausted and my body was drenched in sweat. I couldn’t sit up straight or move my legs even trying to lever them with my arms. I started to wretch and my whole body was convulsing, frightening thinking I was about to have diarrhoea and vomit at the same time, I was so weak and thought I was about to slip off my bed. As I said, the episode lasted about 90 minutes, it’s now 3 am and I feel okay… ish. I think I’ll risk settling down again and hopefully the sweats, weakness and nausea won’t come back.
Thursday morning 8.45 am.
I’m feeling a general weakness but nothing like the frightening spell in the early hours. I did have something similar about 2 years ago but the difference is, and this is so important, I had to stay in bed for 4 days not a matter of hours.

Shades.
At one time I thought of myself to be unique, almost in a special way, here I was, not a young man anymore, far from it actually, but still able mentally at least to want to do things, I know that having multiple sclerosis restricts me in everything I do, but in my head although I’m not physically capable now, I honestly believe I will be. As I said, I really thought it was only me that had the belief, the mental strength to force my body to go on, to push through. That was before I started the ABP, during those years I didn’t have a strict but proven outline of what truly works, it was just my stubborn attitude that I was better than the disease. Things are different now, now I’m 6 months into a tried and tested program that works, now it’s not just me saying to myself and others that I will win, now I have a plan. All my life, I like most others simply believed what the so called experts have told us. In my case it was “you have an incurable disease, a disease that will slowly take your life”.
The disease works on you in two ways, it slowly breaks down your ability to function physically, this obviously affects you mentally which exacerbates the progression of the disease. The worst thing is that 99% of sufferers are conned, yes conned into taking the prescribed medication, a course of drugs that placate the body’s own receptors and fool it into thinking it’s okay. Over a period of time the disease just gets too powerful and the body both physically and mentally has to succumb, leaving you with a body that is incapable of controlled movement.
Fortunately for me I refused to take the drugs even though the neurologist told me I was an idiot and would be in a wheelchair permanently within 6 months, 14 yrs later, no drugs and no wheelchair….. hmmmm.
So back to the ABP and 6 months into what I believe to be a big step to health, it’s a bit like a chart of black to white, moving along from my blackest point I’m no longer in the dark. Looking at my personal journey it’s very much minute changes in the shades of grey, unlike Jamie Doornan there aren’t just 50 shades it’s more like 500 and acknowledging the tiny changes are something others can’t necessarily see but living in my body not only are they significant but so, so good

Tug of war..

Saturday afternoon was as if I’d been smacked in the face… slap. !!!!! yes this is an almighty challenge and I honestly believe I’m winning the war, but the war like WW2 was comprised of many, many battles… it’s like I win one then another few then completely out of the blue, my opponent wins one. Fortunately his wins appear to be smaller ones and have less of an impression on the big picture. I ate something at lunch that almost immediately had such a negative impact, it was scary but as I’m writing a few hours later, the negative feeling, the dramatic weakness seems to have all but disappeared, so a lesson learned, that particular food has been added to my personal list of no, no’s. I think looking back in the history books, all major wars were comprised of lots of battles that had been won or lost, the war on multiple sclerosis is unique… it’s as dramatic as the world wars to the host of the war zone… me in my case or the many others with MS. Obviously we aren’t fighting each other’s battles, and me winning mine doesn’t specifically help you or vice versa other than the sharing of information.

I get frustrated with myself quite often which has really made me think about what I’m doing, it seems that I’ve been living in the town lots of potential ABP followers are living in and to be honest I’m not frustrated with myself, I’m bloody well annoyed and pissed off (excuse me) because I’ve been living in a place called Denial…

This is very much a tug of war and I know the bow tied to the centre is definitely edging my way, slowly but surely, there’s lots of grunting going on and I know both sides are trying their hardest, or are they? To a certain extent the great days and improvements of late have made me a little complacent, that changes now, my message to multiple sclerosis… “this town ain’t big enough for the both if us, you think you’re beating me, well you ain’t seen nothing yet”.

My promise.

I honestly believe that there isn’t a person living today that could justifiably doubt the effectiveness of the ABP, she healed herself in four years I think, so there’s no argument of its ability to do the same for anyone willing to make the same commitment.

After reading “Healing multiple sclerosis” and being filled with overwhelming enthusiasm, I made such a commitment, I don’t consider myself better than anyone else but I know I’m different. Three years after my initial diagnosis in 2004 I was working as a director for Dr Hal Huggins in Colorado springs, Colorado.

I studied directly under him so was able to acquire a great deal of knowledge, knowledge not readily available to the everyday person.

I also know I’m a little different because of my desire to do very different things, things most normal people wouldn’t even consider, I’ve done:

840 skydives and am a:

Hang glider.

Scuba diver.

Mountain biker.

Rock climber

Pilot, I actually got my PPL in 43 hours, the national average in the U.S. is 75 hrs.

So as I said I’m not better than anyone else, just different. Where am I going with this? well on day one of starting this protocol I made a promise to myself, I know the protocol is the protocol, the time it takes is undefined. September 1st was day one, the promise to myself is that I will be healed by day 730 which is September 1st 2019, today was day 148 and I’m feeling great.

Determination.

Having a disease, any of the any so called incurable diseases is a difficult and stressful thing to deal with, I remember back in February 2004 when I was diagnosed, I’d only been in Colorado for 2 years, I’d moved over there because I was under the impression that the Coloradan woman I’d married believed in the vows of marriage. Six years later the “in sickness and in health” seemed to be a non relevant part…. whatever.. no matter now.

Anyway, the incurable disease part… to clarify, it’s incurable if you are a brainwashed medical professional, not me or thousands of others…

I try to always make my posts positive, it’s not as if I’m blindly following an untested, unproven snake oil salesman’s “cure all” bottle of foul tasting liquid, no… I’m adhering to a dietary and nutritional method that works.. So whatever happens to me during the day, good or bad,  I always know  that it’s a stage, a part of the healing process, and having this confidence enables me to persevere.

However, it’s not as if everyday is just filled with positives, yes, of late there’s been several positive changes, but it’s not as if they’ve all been daisy chained together. On the contrary actually, since the second month there’s been improvements, minor ones that have steadily become more substantial but not just them.

Take today for instance (Thursday) I’ve definitely felt strong and stable most of the time but there’s also been really frustrating and painful parts inbetween, at around 6 pm while trying to take my last supplements, a capsule got stuck in my throat and I felt as if I was choking until 15 mins later when it cleared, then while trying to get to the bathroom, my legs seemed to the magnetized to the floor, so even furniture walking was really hard, to make matters worse what little strength I had felt like it had been sucked out of me. But….. I’m in my bed about to watch Emmerdale, I know, I know… I’ve become a wuss, but I’m feeling really good again, the drained feeling I had has gone. The Journey I’m on is going to take two or three years before I’m truly healed, there’ll be some bad days I’m sure but more and more good days that will eventually merge together, it’ll be tough but you know what’ll get me there? Unbreakable determination..

Not disappointed.

On Tuesday I wrote about how good I felt and the exercises I was able to do, I felt more than a little happy, I was extremely happy, I said I would do the same exercises, just fewer of them because  I knew I’d be weaker the following day. Well I was right, I was definitely a little weaker as my muscles recuperated from the previous days exertion. There definitely was a restriction in the intensity but I still did them even though my body was asking me to not do it, the muscle memory of ten years ago was more dominant and was able to override the more recent memory. A few hours later I was still feeling positive and was able to do other things that needed to be done, a week ago I’d have told myself to wait til Thursday when my sister Suzie or my carer were here.

So all in all I had another really positive day on Wednesday, there’s no doubt in my mind that physically, mentally and emotionally this method is the right way to go, in September last year I had several chats with Janet Orchard about her progress and the potential for mine. No promises were made because at the end of the day, this is only as good as I make it, I made a promise to myself about what I would do and I can tell you I’m not disappointed.

This relates to me…
When looked at from any outside source, a friend, family member or loved one, the overall condition of a person with multiple sclerosis that has made the commitment to follow a protocol that’s definitely not one that the “doctors” recommended then I imagine it’s “same old, same old”. Okay I want to be more specific here and not refer to anyone else, but me, this relates to me, Stefan who’s had MS 15 years, or it will be on Feb 2nd.. As I’ve said before I’m so very lucky because I’ve never taken any of the long term debilitating drugs they push MS patients to take. So my body has only had to deal with the disease not the added effects of drugs that create a seriously weakened immune system, because that’s what happens, the drugs suppress the body’s natural defences to try and fight the invaders so there’s less immediate turmoil happening but the long term results are so much more damaging.
So once again The big picture, but this time not looked at from the outside but from the internal view, my view.
I feel stronger today than before, my ability to stand, my ability to negotiate my way to the bathroom and back has been so much easier today, just little things like pouring water or tea into a glass and mug has been better, I’ve been more stable and most things have been generally easier. The feeling as I’ve flexed the toes on my left foot…. Wow, so nice. So from my point of view I’ve got lots of reasons to be happy and so optimistic, it is hard to start but it definitely gets better, if this is new to you, trust me, the long term improvements are definitely worth all the effort.

Why….because I’m right.

I feel obligated to write for my blog, www.Ratherbehealthy.com and for the Facebook group THJ, my feelings of obligation isn’t for the thousands reading my blog or for the Facebook group, no, my obligation is to me… in the main the overriding theme of my posts is positivity, I wear my heart on my sleeve, yes there have been some horrible times such as my fall last month when I stumbled, fell badly and whacked my head against the edge of the coffee table, what could I see?.. stars and blood. And a  few months ago one  that left a permanent 10mm deep impression in the wall, they were both nasty and very painful experiences, but, I made myself get up and carry on. Hey… I’m still here travelling along a very specific path so by writing positively I’m mentally motivating myself.

Maybe I’m different than everyone else, not better, just different.. I know I’m different because I know, absolutely know 100% that not only will I heal but I will also be able to live very comfortably for the next 25 or 30 years, exactly how I’m not sure, well I do know really but this isn’t the time or place to discuss it, I know both will happen because I believe I’m so lucky..if you tell yourself you’re lucky or if you tell yourself you’re unlucky… you’re right!!!! Why will it happen… because I believe I’m right.