Bad but good.
Is that an oxymoron….. whatever, it’s probably the best way I can describe my Wednesday, this protocol I and many others are on definitely starts in a confusing way because your mind, you know the constantly talking voice in your head is trying to come to terms with the radical changes that happen. During that first month there are as many horrible days as there are good days and the differences between the two are small and not that good, so the chatty voice in your head is regularly telling you it’s not worth it, but trust me, it is.. The good days tend to bunch together after a few weeks interspersed by a bad day, a bad day that isn’t quite as bad as the previous one. Over my first four months of following the ABP I can honestly say that after 14 years of suffering with this hideous disease, I know without a shadow of doubt that being strong of mind during the bad days has paid major dividends as the time goes by. Yes I’ve made mistakes, we all do but because getting healthy is my number one priority I’ve got up, dusted myself off, learnt from my mistakes and pushed on. I’ve written most days because it motivates and inspires me, I’ve told myself and other people I’m getting better so I’m not going to let myself down. There have been some terrible days especially in the first 10 weeks but they have become fewer and further between.
Okay, the title….. over the past week or so I’ve had lots of really good days days bordering on great so I’m a very happy bunny, (for the non English it just means I’m very pleased).. Wednesday up to late afternoon was great but for no apparent reason to me I became weak and struggled a bit. I’m writing this at midnight on Wednesday and I can genuinely say the weakness lasted only a few hours and it was nothing like previous weak spells, so yes it was bad but overall it was good, another great day.