As each day comes and goes I try not to think about my situation, I think dwelling on the good and bad in my life would eventually get me down because as much as I’d like to think of myself as undefeatable when it comes to my health that may not be the case.
Every day I tell myself that I will beat this supposedly incurable disease, stumbling and shuffling like an old decrepit geezer if watched from outside my head probably looks amusing, even humorous to those aware of my statements about where I believe I will be soon.
But I have to believe that the various supplements I take, my faith and belief in the power of my inner self, my prayers and meditation will pull me through and out of this dense cloud and mist that surrounds me, hiding me from the healthy Stefan I know still exists.
Although each new day is very much the same as the previous one, the differences between a weekday and the weekend mainly comes down to what’s on TV or that Debs doesn’t come here on Sunday. But I see them as a different day, another 24 hr period that may reveal new information, a new or different perspective for me see a way out.
When I stop and try to look objectively, try not to be optimistic but basing my view on the obvious facts I giggle a bit, laugh at myself because ridding myself of MS looks impossible. But what this horrid debilitating disease doesn’t know is that I’m Stefan, I am the son of Gina, a woman thats been through a war, had seven kids and a thousand things that would have beaten mere mortals. So my statement to multiple sclerosis is this…”I’m giving you notice, you have been given a month and thats how long you can stay here. This is my body not yours so get the heck out”
Against all odds, I will win…
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