Strength of a toddler…
Everyday I go through a ritual where I’m telling myself…. yes telling not necessarily thinking or feeling or knowing that I’m stronger and more capable than the previous day. This is part of my personal brainwashing, I have to believe in what I’m doing, I have to be 100% committed that regardless of how I feel at that particular moment that the Ann Boroch Protocol, the Lipospheric Vit C, the cannabis oil and bone broth are working, it’s not a quick fix scheme, it’s a lifestyle change and it’s going to be like walking up a down escalator. It’s happening, I am going up….. slowly.. to start it was one up but two down, after eighteen months it’s improved significantly, now it’s two up and one down. Accepting this and the rare but possible switch is a little hard to take especially when I’m having so many positives..
Monday for instance was a classic example…. this last week has been great in that I’ve been feeling so good which has resulted in me trying to do things I shouldn’t, y’know like taking less paces between things I should be holding for balance. In the morning I unlocked the front door and considered sitting outside, but I wasn’t exactly dressed for it so came back in, it was nice feeling the wind on my face.
Anyway at lunchtime while Kay my carer was preparing lunch I went to the bathroom to use a catheter…. yes I know I’m a sad man, while standing in front of the loo I had one of those complete body stretches, I felt I was losing my balance and grabbed at a handrail, sadly it wasn’t properly attached to the wall and pulled away. It was like my life passed in front of my eyes in slow motion as I fell backwards. Fortunately my butt took the brunt of the fall, yes it hurt but I’m ok.
So this accident put what’s happening into perspective for me…all the things I’m doing are definitely helping, I just have to accept it’s going to take time, small steps, acceptance and appreciation.
Appreciation that it is happening and acceptance that at this time I’m in a man’s body but I have the strength of a toddler…