Shades.
At one time I thought of myself to be unique, almost in a special way, here I was, not a young man anymore, far from it actually, but still able mentally at least to want to do things, I know that having multiple sclerosis restricts me in everything I do, but in my head although I’m not physically capable now, I honestly believe I will be. As I said, I really thought it was only me that had the belief, the mental strength to force my body to go on, to push through. That was before I started the ABP, during those years I didn’t have a strict but proven outline of what truly works, it was just my stubborn attitude that I was better than the disease. Things are different now, now I’m 6 months into a tried and tested program that works, now it’s not just me saying to myself and others that I will win, now I have a plan. All my life, I like most others simply believed what the so called experts have told us. In my case it was “you have an incurable disease, a disease that will slowly take your life”.
The disease works on you in two ways, it slowly breaks down your ability to function physically, this obviously affects you mentally which exacerbates the progression of the disease. The worst thing is that 99% of sufferers are conned, yes conned into taking the prescribed medication, a course of drugs that placate the body’s own receptors and fool it into thinking it’s okay. Over a period of time the disease just gets too powerful and the body both physically and mentally has to succumb, leaving you with a body that is incapable of controlled movement.
Fortunately for me I refused to take the drugs even though the neurologist told me I was an idiot and would be in a wheelchair permanently within 6 months, 14 yrs later, no drugs and no wheelchair….. hmmmm.
So back to the ABP and 6 months into what I believe to be a big step to health, it’s a bit like a chart of black to white, moving along from my blackest point I’m no longer in the dark. Looking at my personal journey it’s very much minute changes in the shades of grey, unlike Jamie Doornan there aren’t just 50 shades it’s more like 500 and acknowledging the tiny changes are something others can’t necessarily see but living in my body not only are they significant but so, so good