Getting what “I” want is something that on a certain level seemed impossible, yes of course I try to motivate myself everyday, even when I’m exhausted to the point of being physically and mentally drained but say to myself that “I can stop and do this again tomorrow”
at the time that seems to be the “logical” thing to do, but in reality it’s not… by stopping or just not pushing myself that little bit harder is only making it easier to justify giving in now and every other day.
Prior to this morning at 4.50 a.m. I’d come out with the “sensible option”, I’d say that I was in pain…. it was just too difficult… it wasn’t possible to straighten my back and my legs… so I wouldn’t try that little bit harder which meant my goal was just a little bit further away…
What happened mentally this morning was that I told myself that I could and I would do what previously seemed impossible. Obviously there’s a difference in demanding more from my mind and pushing myself physically or having weakened and torn ligament or tendon or meniscus that regardless of what I want cannot provide the necessary support.
But the motivation and inspirational videos I watch daily aren’t enough to get past that breaking point, yes they help but in order for me to actually reach and surpass a goal needs something else. I know I managed 100 stand ups two days ago but that wasn’t strengthening the whole of my leg….legs so today it wasn’t a case of doing the stand up exercise, today I focused on genuinely “standing up” and strengthening the anterior muscles around my knees, also helping my spine. It was so difficult, almost strange to actually be “standing up straight” but I did. My first effort lasted about 5 seconds until my legs just buckled. I’d made a point of making sure that the “Rotunda” was as close to my bed as possible so collapsing just meant sitting down on it. But my 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th were all 30 seconds or more. It was so different almost weird seeing the bedroom and into my living room from a totally different perspective, it was great actually, I really feel I’ve made a massive achievement. The title of this post is “Not just motivation” and what I mean by that is that listening or reading or watching is great but that’s only part of what’s necessary to reach “the goal” the hardest and most significant thing is my own personal…
Determination
About six months back I started an exercise for my legs, I was standing up from sitting on my bed using the back of a chair (commode) for balance. My first attempt was hard and I managed just 6, but taking my predicament into consideration I was happy. Over the coming months I gradually and painfully increased the daily total, I think managing 20 a few days later put a big smile on my face, but reaching 70 blew me away and the two carers sat on the arms to secure it didn’t tip over were pleased.
Anyway the fact that Social Services had brought a piece of equipment that enabled me to do this alone was appreciated.
It’s been more convenient and safer of that there’s no doubt, but the fact its a solid and very heavy device made it extremely difficult unless a carer moved it away from the wall closer to where I could actually use it has obviously limited its use to when a carer could help.
But… that hasn’t been the case recently, changes I’ve made…. have enabled me to manoeuvre the Rotunda to the edge of my bed alone, just the fact it weighs a ton, not literally of course, has needed a large portion of my strength before and after the specific exercise.
Doing 20.. has been my limit but as I’ve done that several times (5,or 6) everyday it’s been good from a muscle building standpoint.
I woke at 3.45 a.m. today after falling asleep shortly after the start of a movie on Netflix, anyway I decided to do my “stand up” exercise so slid my legs out of bed, shuffled down and reached over to get the “contraption” into position. Doing the exercise requires a lot of determination especially at the “butt crack of dawn” and the bloody sciatica is like a big spike piercing my butt cheek and going into the bone, it’s freaking excruciating… but I was determined to do it, after 20 times my legs were tired. I persevered over the following 30 mins and managed to get to my previous record of 76 at which point my shoulders, my legs and my ass were all crying out for me to stop and get back into bed. At this point the “Motiversity” YouTube video was screaming at me to “Never give up” !!!! so I didn’t… I kept going because I had to, it didn’t matter that I was exhausted, in pain and emotionally drained but that special number was in sight, not close but achievable so that’s what I did, for me it was a milestone and I’m so proud of myself knowing that I managed one hundred, I’m knackered, true but so proud of myself…
In life we all face challenges, they’re all different of course, thier importance or intensity to the person or family. In so many cases the problem is just “accepted”… its considered too difficult or its not feasibly possible, “I just don’t have the “It’s not possible attitude” or “there’s no point in wasting my time trying, I might as well not put myself through the pain”.
I’m so glad I don’t see life that way, I see things very differently, as far as I’m concerned while there’s still a breath in my body I’m going to keep trying, keep believing… giving up on whatever is just not an option, the living in the “Now” option and the “Acceptance” of the crappy life attitude just doesn’t work for me.
It might not be obvious to you or others, it might not be staring you right in the face, but if you aren’t happy about where you are or what you’ve become then “You” have to do something about it… change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.. so many people try for a week or two then stop and convince themselves with their own justifiable reason, thats just an excuse to give up, they didn’t want it enough.
I got MS seventeen and a half.years ago, I don’t take drugs…I’m not beaten, the fall I had in March last year has kept me in bed, but the ABP and the addition I’m making have enabled me to keep going, keep exercising and getting stronger, I KNOW I’m beating this, I tell myself, yes TELL MYSELF everyday I watch motivational videos on YouTube that inspire me… a lot of realists (pessimists) will say “I have to see it to believe it”…thats just negative what I say is:.
You have have to believe it to see it…
P.S. look at “Motiversity” on YouTube
Sick and tired..
Getting accustomed to the ever worsening symptoms of this hideous disease is frustrating and potentially depressing, well it would be if it wasn’t for the ABP. As most readers of my “posts” will know I’m a strong believer in the incredible benefits the protocol has to offer.
If it wasn’t for the fact I had a nasty fall in March last year that inflicted some serious damage to my knees things would be very different. In all honesty my knees have alread suffered because of Rugby in school, college and the army and a lot of road running, plus 834 skydives, so it’s no surprise that what happened last year, I’ll not go into depth about it again but I will say that for 23.5 hrs every day I’ve been confined to bed, so no moaning from others about lockdown…mine has been my bed.
Anyway getting back to my point and the ever worsening symptoms… they aren’t!!! The protocol stopped the downward slide from an MS symptom point of view. The seventeen months in bed…. seventeen freaking months!!! have seriously wiped away the impressive thigh muscles I used to have, but in my opinion because of what I’m doing I’ve experienced significant, Significant improvement.
A month or so ago I couldn’t reach over and pick up a glass full of water with my left hand unless I wanted to share at least half of it with my bed or chest. Now not a problem, I couldn’t twist and lay on my right side and if I’d somehow managed it I definitely couldn’t have reversed the process. Getting my legs out of bed on my own was nigh on impossible and getting back in and getting comfortable without a carers help just couldn’t happen. That’s not the case now, far from it, it’s actually easy and I’m so proud of myself.
The true healing process takes a long time it’s true, but dedication, patience and commitment is of paramount importance.
Am I healed yet… no… but…
I’m a lot closer now than I was,
what drives me? what keeps me trying? I have dreams and desires, the protocol and my commitment, my belief and I’m sick and tired of…
Being sick and tired…
Strong…
Making the decision to either just accept you have a disease that the world of medicine consider incurable, or to follow a proven dietary protocol that eliminates the problematic components that are creating the disease in my opinion has to be made. Now, I’m not saying that the decision is an easy one to make, nor is it easy to adhere to, it’s only natural to have doubts especially knowing that every doctor, neurologist and all family and friends will be convinced its impossible. But the facts speak for themselves, it works, it does take four, or five or six years to eventually remove all the toxic effects and symptoms that certain foods have caused resulting in disese. Is following the protocol an easy thing to do? No it’s not but think about it, completely changing your lifestyle can be painful, it takes focus and determination, so do you have to be strong to go through pain? No but you do have to go through some pain to become strong once again…
W.F.W…
I’ve written everyday this week because it seems wonderful things are happening which I can honestly say are surprising me, scaring me and making me very very happy.
Surprising me because the additions to the Ann Boroch Protocol are really helping even though I doubted it before I started.
Scaring me because it almost seems surreal.. and I’m scared they will stop and cause problems.
Very very happy, because its 1.40, I’ve had my lunch, salmon and stir fry Chinese veggies, I’d drunk my hot chicory, my replacement for coffee then used a catheter, I was able to wrestle my body onto my right side taking the pressure off my poor butt for fifteen minutes. At this point I felt good and thought…yeah go on Stefan.. so I did, I got up again like this morning but this time my stand ups were even better, yes much better…
I had to write about this a post immediately, so the title W.F.W..
WOW.FREAKING.WOW.!!!
I think it’s very important when considering situations to try and put everything into perspective, I mean that different people have differing desires and circumstances. The man with billions of £’s or $’s travelling into outer space wouldn’t be impressed with “getting out of bed”…
But the achievement is no less fantastic to “little old me”…
On Sunday morning I wrote that at the “butt crack of dawn” I’d swung my legs out of bed, fixed my scrumpled pillow then stood, well tried to thirty times and managed to get back into bed….. easily.
I actually did a little better on both Monday and Tuesday, so as I’m sure you can imagine I was very pleased with myself.
I slept very badly last night, it was very “close”, hot humid and very debilitating for me and the others with this freaking shitty disease, “excuse me”… so when I decided to start my day with the first of six catheters I wasn’t very optimistic.
But… I got my legs out of bed, squidged my feet into the carpet a few times which was actually a great feeling. Then I started pushing down on the bed assisting my legs to straighten. Not only did I manage to “stand” 45 times over a 5 minute period but I was able to get my back straight and steady myself touching the wall. So Sunday was a first in 16.5 months, Monday and Tuesdays efforts were both improvements and today, Wednesday was a significant step forward, should I be more excited and optimistic for the future, but, in reality this is the biggest improvement I’ve had in a long time, “What do you think?” …
F.A.G.U….
Life in general isn’t easy so when a terrible disease takes up residence in your body, the “isn’t easy” becomes “bloody hard”, but thats life.
In reality very little that’s good happens easily, I know there are lots of successful people that just appear to be really lucky, but in order for them to have succeeded in their chosen profession, be it business or sport or whatever, they’ve had to work hard at it. The Gordon Ramsey’s or Richard Brandon’s of this world worked really hard, lots of long days when most others were resting or playing. The athletes trained much more to be faster or stronger when others gave up.
None of those people just did it… it wasn’t easy but it was what the particular person wanted, we all have special people that we admire because of their tenacity and determination to succeed, when everything around them seemed to be falling down, they remained focused on what they truly wanted. Ann Boroch was only in her twenties when she was struck down with a so called incurable disease, the doctors, neurologists, PhD’s and medical experts all said there’s no point in trying or hoping to beat this because you can’t…but she did… she tried and tried and tried again even though it initially seemed like a lost cause. The protocol doesn’t work, it doesn’t cure you…because that’s not what it’s about, it’s about removing the toxins that you have put in to your body then enabling your body to “heal” itself..
It’s not rocket science but it’s not easy, you have to believe it works, believe in yourself and just keep trying no matter how hard it gets.
If beating an illness was easy then it wouldn’t be classed as incurable and big pharma wouldn’t be making millions in profit.
So faced with a supposedly impossible task requires lots of effort, the title of this post is F.A.G.U..
It’s not about just “accepting”, that’s what they say, not what “You” believe.. keep trying…so
FALL AND GET UP…
Oh really…
Only two hundred years ago it was deemed perfectly acceptable for a surgeon, a highly educated and qualified man to go from one operation to another without sterilising, not even cleaning the scalpel or his hands before moving on to the next patient. Was he stupid?… No… its just what the medical professional knew at that time… (very relevant)….
Ann Boroch in her mid twenties researched and attempted, successfully to heal her body of what was perceived as an incurable disease…
At that time the thought of nutrition being an integral component in the quest to heal was totally disregarded and to an extent laughed at….food was food..or at least that’s what they believed.
My point…. what we and doctors, scientists, PhD’s… the medical world in general think they know, they aren’t stupid or ignorant, we just don’t know everything….Yet!!!!
Have you considered …?
Oh really!!!
Hmmm,
Let me just think about that…
Not only, but…
Now I know the beetroot juice isn’t on protocol but the fact is that I’ve been having great results. I’ve not had any…. Any negative effects at all, in fact I’m actually really pleased at how good I’m feeling.
The only thing I personally dislike is the taste, I’ve never been a beetroot eater as I find the taste rather gross, but thats a personal thing and in reality a small price to pay for the benefit I’m getting.
Anyway, to the reason for this post, no I’m not Ronnie Corbett for us older folks, I did a little more searching, as I do and found something called “Beet it”.. a 70 ml beetroot juice concentrate which I’ve now taken once daily for four days..
Now not only is is more palatable, it actually tastes nice as it has lemon juice in not apple juice, its much easier to drink but it appears to be even more effective..