Rather Be Healthy

Special day…
I personally feel that having multiple sclerosis is an absolutely horrendous disease, one that can confuse and mislead others and to a certain extent, isolate you…
From first “knowing” in your head that the reason you feel so bad and think it might be MS causing your problems and then when the official diagnosis is delivered…. when the neurologist in my case said….
“There’s no way of breaking this to you gently, but you have multiple sclerosis ”
Its not something that other people can genuinely understand… you Will progressively get worse, especially if you take one of the D.M.D’s (disease modifying drugs) which in reality do nothing more than mislead you and others that you are getting better..
Maybe they should officially be renamed as Disease Misleading Drugs.
Anyway, I digress…when that diagnosis happens and the Neuro attempts to console you, then tells you that there are many support groups that will help you “accept and come to terms” with your news.
Regardless of this, you will have felt alone….
No one really understands the unique problems that you personally have…. they will all say they understand and feel your pain, but they don’t and their confusion will abound as on freshly taken drug days you will feel good, but that will soon change and you will feel and react differently which “misleads” others.

You’re probably thinking that this is a negative post…. hold on, bear with me!!!

All the above is true…but thats not where this ends, in fact its where the good part begins…

Why on earth would you want to be around lots of people with no hope for a life or a future…

A lot of us with ms have had it for a long time before finding the ABP…
in my case it was 13 years… in some ways I’m different, not better, but different because in my case I was living and working in Colorado when I was diagnosed… an arrogant English man offending an American neurologist didn’t go down too well.
That happened when I categorically refused to take the medication (drugs) he prescribed and told….Told me I’d be in a wheelchair in 6 months if I didn’t….hah…16 years later and still not..
So in September 2017 I started on the ABP.. and never looked back, now I am genuinely healing… not there yet but a lot better physically and mentally than I was..
Now I genuinely have a great “support group”, people who “understand”…
Now I’m part of a special group and know that We are all here for each other…
Now I’m proud to say that now I have real Connections….

 Never, Never, Never…

I often write about the positive effects I’m having by strictly following the Ann Boroch Protocol, and its true. I dont write exaggerated effects as a way of misleading existing or new starters on this program, I tell it like it is…
My aim is to always inspire or motivate others while reminding myself of the changes I am personally experiencing.
However…. six weeks ago or is it seven…. hmm, whatever… I had a nasty fall that quite frankly buggered my knees…I’ve been limited to my bed ever since, apart from bathroom visits of course.
My plan was to allow the damage done to my ligaments, tendons and cartilage’s to heal, not an easy thing to do knowing that blood doesn’t flow through any, so daily TEN’s machine use and rest has been the only treatment.
Being confined because of the “lock down” is bad enough but being in bed is a tad worse…
I’m not better than anyone else, but I know I’m different, I am a very positive and optimistic person and I constantly tell myself I’m winning regardless of how depressing my condition is.
Sadly, a couple of days ago it all seemed too much, I actually felt down, I wasn’t depressed exactly but the negativity of my weakened legs, the pain in my knees and the excruciating agony of the sciatica which feels like a knife in my left butt cheek then streaming down my leg and needles being pushed into my toes just seemed too much for me.
I felt like I was being knocked down hill and all my previous work has been wiped away, I actually felt like giving up…
On Saturday I thought about several things that could possibly be restricting my progress, certain supplements I’d not been taking came to mind, that was rectified when my afternoon carers came and I’m noticing the difference as I’m writing this at “O dark thirty”…. (after midnight).
Anyway just so everyone knows, even though I always appear to be super positive, that occasionally….no, not occasionally, more like once in a blue moon I experience negative thoughts. I admit I had that on Friday and for a day or so I went through my Darkest Hour…. yes just watched my hero Winston Churchill, so I had a very tough time emotionally but it’s gone now and I’m back to being me…..so as he said…
Never, never, never give up..