So much closer…
At this time last year I had just started my fourth month on this protocol, the first two months were quite frankly, horrendous… I think this will be hard for most to truly understand but the horrible days were such an integral and important part of this. As I’ve become more knowledgeable about this method and why every stage, every difficult step is critical and must be followed and adhered to, there’s no point in trying to fool yourself that it’s okay to just ignore a rule…. they are rules not recommendations.
As the first year ended, apart from the difficulties associated with moving house, which I did, I realised how much I’d come on, I know it’s not obvious to most people because this disease is working as hard as it can twenty four hours each day, every second you’re alive there are literally billions of things going wrong amongst the trillions of cells, so being able to slow that army down and make the smallest of improvements is absolutely amazing.
Anyway, now that I’ve just completed my fifteenth month and the small subtle improvements have become constant, so much so that they are being perceived as normal to me, I’m actually dreading this time of year. I so desperately want to enjoy the time with my loved ones, to indulge in the foods, a glass of wine and the Christmas festivities, but I know I can’t…. I’m feeling as if I’ll ruin it for others because I can’t even have gravy on my Christmas dinner, the yeast will knock me back so far.
This Christmas and the coming ones will be very difficult for me because I know I’ll have so much to lose if I make a selfish mistake now that every day I’m so much closer to my goal.
My destiny….
It’s so easy to sit and think that one’s own personal life is in a really bad state, for those like me having multiple sclerosis or any of the other serious illnesses, the healthcare practitioners, doctors, nurses and most carers will try to help and ease your burden, and that’s nice in most ways. However there is only one person that can and will change the situation in a lifelong future way…… you or me in my own personal situation.
Life is just that, life…..nothing is perfect, there’s always going to be tough days, when it’s hard, when it’s difficult, that’s when we have to be disciplined and not succumb to the overriding pain, discomfort and desire to give in. Whenever there’s a thought about giving in, it has to be pushed aside and draw on that inner strength, that belief that regardless of good, bad or indifferent times you/me will always try, not just try but try you’re best….
I have a dream and I will do whatever…. whatever it takes to fullfil it, the dream is to be healthy and to really live again..
Being sick and dependent upon others is how it is now but I will live my dream, and that my friend, is my destiny.
Up, down but standing still.
Having multiple sclerosis is a difficult thing to deal with, according to the millions of doctors, the thousands of neurologists around the world and the trillion dollar industry collectively known as big pharma, this disease is incurable, I have say that it’s their view, not mine.
So regardless of being little old me (emphasis on old), I believe 100% that I will beat this hideous disease. Admittedly it’s going to be a major challenge that’s going to have lots of downs but in reality far more good days culminating in a beautiful day that I and everyone including the sceptics, naysayers, defeatist’s and pariahs aka big pharma will acknowledge I’m healed..
You may have noticed I don’t say the word cured, and that’s simply because myself and others following the ABP don’t accept how multiple sclerosis is described and categorised…. the disease is in fact a combination of symptoms created by foods and substances that have entoered the body. This has resulted in multiple organs, hundreds of thousands of enzymes and trillions of cells having an inability to function as they should. So we have nothing to cure, but we do have our body to heal.
My point….. the world of medicine say I’m not going to win, I say, You can bet your sweet bippy I am, regardless of what you say, I will not be beaten… Fact….
It’s hard and it would be so easy to give up, but no matter what, no matter that it feels like I’m on a downward escalator trying to walk up, yes it sometimes feels that I’m walking up but going down, for a period, a limited one I’m standing still. This is a 48 month plan that I’m only 15 months into..
The Good, the Sad and the….
Well the best explanation of the title is that the horrible night and day that was Monday night and most of Tuesday is over, I’ve often categorically stated that this protocol has bad days but they are 99.9% of the time followed by good days, so yesterday I took my own advice and stayed in bed apart from an hour in the afternoon. So today, Wednesday I’m so pleased because I feel good, actually I feel great and am looking forward to my day, yayyy.
The Sad. My sister Suzie told my yesterday that her niece is having problems with her pregnancy and has had to go into hospital, I’m praying that she’s going to be okay, she’s a lovely girl and hopefully will come through this happy and healthy.
The final part is that it was lovely to Face time Suzie yesterday and although her main reason for calling didn’t wasn’t nice, she also said she was coming back early from Florida, in fact she’s getting the flight tonight and will be here tomorrow. So the complete title will read …
The Good, the Sad and the Lovely..
Poke the bear..
It’s 2 a.m. Tuesday morning and I’m writing this post, why, you ask?…. because I’m wide awake and feeling really bad, nauseous and like I’m about to have a very loose bm…
Of late I’ve definitely been feeling good, very good in fact, a little over confident maybe… not so much that I’ve strayed or diversified with foods as such but my mind has wondered and contemplated banned foods like pizza and ice cream… I haven’t had any but I definitely thought about it.
Those thoughts aren’t the reason for my current situation but thinking about them is bad and I haven’t felt as I do now for a long time…and just reminds me of the differences between the progress I’ve been making and how I don’t want to be. My carer comes for 30 mins around 5.30 each day, I had a protein shake made with almond milk, shortly after my carer had left I started to have a terrible gut ache which I can only think was caused by the almond milk, it didn’t taste strange but I’m sure that was it as I also had a cup of hot cocoa made with it.
I really struggled all night, it’s now Wednesday morning, there’s been a multitude of problems but hopefully they’re all sorted now thanks to activated charcoal, Himalayan Crystal salt and a 15 minute visit from my carer..
Again I try to look for the positives in this disease ridden life…. I’m still alive, no major pains and I’ve come through what could easily have been a serious problem but isn’t.
A phrase used a lot in the States, do what needs to be done but don’t..don’t poke the bear…
What was, is….
I’ll try to put this into perspective, having a disease is horrible, I’m sure others in various ways are just as demoralizing, frustrating, painful and limiting as multiple sclerosis, but as its the one I have, I can talk from experience. I had the pre diagnosis symptoms for about three years prior to the neurologist in Denver giving me the official verdict, I think they receive special training on how to share this information in a fait- acompli way.
Anyway as I’ve said many times before, I wouldn’t at the time and never have taken the medication, the drugs that basically numb the appropriate receptors in the brain on a temporary basis until the forever bigger doses cease to have an effect and the original diagnosis of incurable becomes a reality.
Getting back to my point, three years then the official diagnosis fifteen years ago means I’ve been experiencing this for eighteen plus years…. wow, there are kids younger than that driving..frightening…
The Ann Boroch Protocol… ABP, became my way of life in September 2017 and the first two or three months were damn hard, gradually the frequency of bad days became rare, in fact bad days just don’t happen anymore, yes of course there are difficult periods but they are limited to an hour or two.
I haven’t had one of those for a couple of months now which makes me very happy, come to think of it, I can’t specifically recall when the last one was. After about seven or eight months I started having actual great days which now seem to be the norm, in other words what was, is now my every day.