Shades.
At one time I thought of myself to be unique, almost in a special way, here I was, not a young man anymore, far from it actually, but still able mentally at least to want to do things, I know that having multiple sclerosis restricts me in everything I do, but in my head although I’m not physically capable now, I honestly believe I will be. As I said, I really thought it was only me that had the belief, the mental strength to force my body to go on, to push through. That was before I started the ABP, during those years I didn’t have a strict but proven outline of what truly works, it was just my stubborn attitude that I was better than the disease. Things are different now, now I’m 6 months into a tried and tested program that works, now it’s not just me saying to myself and others that I will win, now I have a plan. All my life, I like most others simply believed what the so called experts have told us. In my case it was “you have an incurable disease, a disease that will slowly take your life”.
The disease works on you in two ways, it slowly breaks down your ability to function physically, this obviously affects you mentally which exacerbates the progression of the disease. The worst thing is that 99% of sufferers are conned, yes conned into taking the prescribed medication, a course of drugs that placate the body’s own receptors and fool it into thinking it’s okay. Over a period of time the disease just gets too powerful and the body both physically and mentally has to succumb, leaving you with a body that is incapable of controlled movement.
Fortunately for me I refused to take the drugs even though the neurologist told me I was an idiot and would be in a wheelchair permanently within 6 months, 14 yrs later, no drugs and no wheelchair….. hmmmm.
So back to the ABP and 6 months into what I believe to be a big step to health, it’s a bit like a chart of black to white, moving along from my blackest point I’m no longer in the dark. Looking at my personal journey it’s very much minute changes in the shades of grey, unlike Jamie Doornan there aren’t just 50 shades it’s more like 500 and acknowledging the tiny changes are something others can’t necessarily see but living in my body not only are they significant but so, so good
Tug of war..
Saturday afternoon was as if I’d been smacked in the face… slap. !!!!! yes this is an almighty challenge and I honestly believe I’m winning the war, but the war like WW2 was comprised of many, many battles… it’s like I win one then another few then completely out of the blue, my opponent wins one. Fortunately his wins appear to be smaller ones and have less of an impression on the big picture. I ate something at lunch that almost immediately had such a negative impact, it was scary but as I’m writing a few hours later, the negative feeling, the dramatic weakness seems to have all but disappeared, so a lesson learned, that particular food has been added to my personal list of no, no’s. I think looking back in the history books, all major wars were comprised of lots of battles that had been won or lost, the war on multiple sclerosis is unique… it’s as dramatic as the world wars to the host of the war zone… me in my case or the many others with MS. Obviously we aren’t fighting each other’s battles, and me winning mine doesn’t specifically help you or vice versa other than the sharing of information.
I get frustrated with myself quite often which has really made me think about what I’m doing, it seems that I’ve been living in the town lots of potential ABP followers are living in and to be honest I’m not frustrated with myself, I’m bloody well annoyed and pissed off (excuse me) because I’ve been living in a place called Denial…
This is very much a tug of war and I know the bow tied to the centre is definitely edging my way, slowly but surely, there’s lots of grunting going on and I know both sides are trying their hardest, or are they? To a certain extent the great days and improvements of late have made me a little complacent, that changes now, my message to multiple sclerosis… “this town ain’t big enough for the both if us, you think you’re beating me, well you ain’t seen nothing yet”.
My promise.
I honestly believe that there isn’t a person living today that could justifiably doubt the effectiveness of the ABP, she healed herself in four years I think, so there’s no argument of its ability to do the same for anyone willing to make the same commitment.
After reading “Healing multiple sclerosis” and being filled with overwhelming enthusiasm, I made such a commitment, I don’t consider myself better than anyone else but I know I’m different. Three years after my initial diagnosis in 2004 I was working as a director for Dr Hal Huggins in Colorado springs, Colorado.
I studied directly under him so was able to acquire a great deal of knowledge, knowledge not readily available to the everyday person.
I also know I’m a little different because of my desire to do very different things, things most normal people wouldn’t even consider, I’ve done:
840 skydives and am a:
Hang glider.
Scuba diver.
Mountain biker.
Rock climber
Pilot, I actually got my PPL in 43 hours, the national average in the U.S. is 75 hrs.
So as I said I’m not better than anyone else, just different. Where am I going with this? well on day one of starting this protocol I made a promise to myself, I know the protocol is the protocol, the time it takes is undefined. September 1st was day one, the promise to myself is that I will be healed by day 730 which is September 1st 2019, today was day 148 and I’m feeling great.
Determination.
Having a disease, any of the any so called incurable diseases is a difficult and stressful thing to deal with, I remember back in February 2004 when I was diagnosed, I’d only been in Colorado for 2 years, I’d moved over there because I was under the impression that the Coloradan woman I’d married believed in the vows of marriage. Six years later the “in sickness and in health” seemed to be a non relevant part…. whatever.. no matter now.
Anyway, the incurable disease part… to clarify, it’s incurable if you are a brainwashed medical professional, not me or thousands of others…
I try to always make my posts positive, it’s not as if I’m blindly following an untested, unproven snake oil salesman’s “cure all” bottle of foul tasting liquid, no… I’m adhering to a dietary and nutritional method that works.. So whatever happens to me during the day, good or bad, I always know that it’s a stage, a part of the healing process, and having this confidence enables me to persevere.
However, it’s not as if everyday is just filled with positives, yes, of late there’s been several positive changes, but it’s not as if they’ve all been daisy chained together. On the contrary actually, since the second month there’s been improvements, minor ones that have steadily become more substantial but not just them.
Take today for instance (Thursday) I’ve definitely felt strong and stable most of the time but there’s also been really frustrating and painful parts inbetween, at around 6 pm while trying to take my last supplements, a capsule got stuck in my throat and I felt as if I was choking until 15 mins later when it cleared, then while trying to get to the bathroom, my legs seemed to the magnetized to the floor, so even furniture walking was really hard, to make matters worse what little strength I had felt like it had been sucked out of me. But….. I’m in my bed about to watch Emmerdale, I know, I know… I’ve become a wuss, but I’m feeling really good again, the drained feeling I had has gone. The Journey I’m on is going to take two or three years before I’m truly healed, there’ll be some bad days I’m sure but more and more good days that will eventually merge together, it’ll be tough but you know what’ll get me there? Unbreakable determination..
Not disappointed.
On Tuesday I wrote about how good I felt and the exercises I was able to do, I felt more than a little happy, I was extremely happy, I said I would do the same exercises, just fewer of them because I knew I’d be weaker the following day. Well I was right, I was definitely a little weaker as my muscles recuperated from the previous days exertion. There definitely was a restriction in the intensity but I still did them even though my body was asking me to not do it, the muscle memory of ten years ago was more dominant and was able to override the more recent memory. A few hours later I was still feeling positive and was able to do other things that needed to be done, a week ago I’d have told myself to wait til Thursday when my sister Suzie or my carer were here.
So all in all I had another really positive day on Wednesday, there’s no doubt in my mind that physically, mentally and emotionally this method is the right way to go, in September last year I had several chats with Janet Orchard about her progress and the potential for mine. No promises were made because at the end of the day, this is only as good as I make it, I made a promise to myself about what I would do and I can tell you I’m not disappointed.
This relates to me…
When looked at from any outside source, a friend, family member or loved one, the overall condition of a person with multiple sclerosis that has made the commitment to follow a protocol that’s definitely not one that the “doctors” recommended then I imagine it’s “same old, same old”. Okay I want to be more specific here and not refer to anyone else, but me, this relates to me, Stefan who’s had MS 15 years, or it will be on Feb 2nd.. As I’ve said before I’m so very lucky because I’ve never taken any of the long term debilitating drugs they push MS patients to take. So my body has only had to deal with the disease not the added effects of drugs that create a seriously weakened immune system, because that’s what happens, the drugs suppress the body’s natural defences to try and fight the invaders so there’s less immediate turmoil happening but the long term results are so much more damaging.
So once again The big picture, but this time not looked at from the outside but from the internal view, my view.
I feel stronger today than before, my ability to stand, my ability to negotiate my way to the bathroom and back has been so much easier today, just little things like pouring water or tea into a glass and mug has been better, I’ve been more stable and most things have been generally easier. The feeling as I’ve flexed the toes on my left foot…. Wow, so nice. So from my point of view I’ve got lots of reasons to be happy and so optimistic, it is hard to start but it definitely gets better, if this is new to you, trust me, the long term improvements are definitely worth all the effort.
Why….because I’m right.
I feel obligated to write for my blog, www.Ratherbehealthy.com and for the Facebook group THJ, my feelings of obligation isn’t for the thousands reading my blog or for the Facebook group, no, my obligation is to me… in the main the overriding theme of my posts is positivity, I wear my heart on my sleeve, yes there have been some horrible times such as my fall last month when I stumbled, fell badly and whacked my head against the edge of the coffee table, what could I see?.. stars and blood. And a few months ago one that left a permanent 10mm deep impression in the wall, they were both nasty and very painful experiences, but, I made myself get up and carry on. Hey… I’m still here travelling along a very specific path so by writing positively I’m mentally motivating myself.
Maybe I’m different than everyone else, not better, just different.. I know I’m different because I know, absolutely know 100% that not only will I heal but I will also be able to live very comfortably for the next 25 or 30 years, exactly how I’m not sure, well I do know really but this isn’t the time or place to discuss it, I know both will happen because I believe I’m so lucky..if you tell yourself you’re lucky or if you tell yourself you’re unlucky… you’re right!!!! Why will it happen… because I believe I’m right.
Limited choices.
Over the past fourteen years I’ve found that my choice of foods has become more and more limited, then on September 1st I started on the Ann Boroch protocol, complying with her recommendations meant that more foods were added to the already long list. Oh bugger I can hear most of you saying, obviously it’s a pain saying no to foods I loved and regularly ate… or is it?
The world of traditional medicine basically suggest two things to people with multiple sclerosis, firstly they tell you that in their “I know best attitude” that the disease you contracted is incurable so stop trying to find alternative solutions because there aren’t any. Secondly they tell you to be a good boy, be compliant and take their drugs.
They use the term “medicine” as if it’s something to actually help….. it’s not medicne, it’s a freaking pharmaceutical drug, an addictive drug that addresses a symptom.
I’ve used this analogy before but it’s one that is a perfect description. You come home and see the kitchen floor is flooded… “Their suggestion is to use blankets to mop up the water… my suggestion is to turn the tap off, pull the plug out of the sink, then mop the water up.
You know how I write… always digressing….so, food choice…
Ok yes my food choices are more limited now but the reality is that I personally chose to not eat certain foods because they are foods that harm me, they are foods that have very little nutrition, nutrients are what my body, everyone’s body needs. So many foods these days have been processed with synthetic additives that fool your brain via your tastebuds into wanting more. There are numerous chemicals such as monosodium glutamate or you might see it listed as MSG that has the “more-ish” influence, you know what that is, you eat 10 Pringles but can’t stop until the whole pack has gone…. ring any bells…
So in reality I do have a limited choice but that’s exactly it… my choice and I feel massively better overall by not eating the synthetic, processed and nutritionally bereft crap generally eaten by others.
By doing it this way I’m doing something the world’s doctors say is impossible… I’m healing myself, I might well have a limited choice of foods but I was given two choices in February 2004…. Their way, traditional doctors was to die or the Ann Boroch way that me and 250 others have made which is to live.
Not a diet per se.
I wanted to clarify something my lovely sister Suzie said about me a few days ago, I’m very flattered by her comments about me looking really good, almost as if I was the youngest of the seven siblings, when I’m the third oldest, so thanks for saying that. As a 62 yr old I’m very lucky to not have a wrinkly face, a big fat gut and a full head of grey hair, yes there are some, but not lots, I think it’s just good genes, down to my mum. Suzie talked about my diet, to clarify that, I’m not on a “diet” as in eating to lose weight, I just eat foods that are safe for me, I’m gluten, lactose and sugar intolerant so none of them pass my lips. I don’t smoke or drink alcohol, I think the last glass of wine was about two years ago. Another major influence on my skin are the supplements I take daily because of a health condition. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in February 2004 and since then I’ve always taken natural supplements in my quest to heal myself of what the brainwashed medical profession say is incurable. Doctors in general have literally been brainwashed by the pharmaceutical industry who make billions and billions by selling drugs that do no more that temporarily ease a symptom. Needless to say I’ve never taken any drug or medication.
I just seemed to instinctively know back in 04 at The Rose hospital in Denver, Colorado, that the drugs were not for me and that was 3 years before I learned from The Master, Dr Hal Huggins.
When I look at myself in the mirror as I do every morning, I always think and say to myself that I’m so lucky, that I had the mental strength to refuse the ageing, debilitating and soul destroying drugs that 99.9% of people accept without question.
I will beat this disease, I will be healthy again and have my life back, once again thanks Suzie for the compliment and thank you ever so much to mum and Suzie for believing and helping me, I love you both.
Feels so good.
We all have situations that make us happy and some that are sad, sometimes just not having pain or seeing family and friends can make our day, I think it’s difficult for those not suffering with multiple sclerosis to truly understand the struggles we go through every minute we are awake. That’s not a complaint or criticism, just a fact, it is what it is and we just get on with trying to make our existence a little more bearable. In my situation I never feel lonely or depressed because I’ve too much to do, I’ve made my life have a very specific goal and that’s to beat this disease, to remove it from my body and I have to say it’s a challenge, everyday it’s like I’ve been given a job to do. “Today Stefan, you have to solve this puzzle, the puzzle you’ve been working on for fourteen years”. I’m sure that this quest for 99.9% of people would be so freaking boring and frustrating, and it is for me to a certain extent, but in my case and I imagine for several others lucky enough to have learnt about Ann Boroch and her success in treating herself, then following a tried and tested set of rules it’s not a problem. Yes of course there are days when it seems futile because of self inflicted variations, but the good thing is that most of the time they can be seen as hiccups not permanent roadblocks. Regardless of what the world of western medicine thinks, regardless of their inability of comprehend the reasons why people with multiple sclerosis actually suffer and why they cannot make any genuine long term improvements, regardless of that, when we follow the plan, it works. It’s been four months, two weeks and one day and I’m 100% certain that I’m going to heal myself and that feels so good.