Rather Be Healthy

The change.

I wrote about Wednesday being a good day, in fact I’ve been having lots of good days over the last few weeks and it’s really hitting home that the improvements are slowly but surely becoming the norm for me. It’s so nice to actually feel my toes flexing on my left foot, I think the movement today was the first time I’ve been able to do that in about seven or eight years. Just three months and one week of following a protocol of changing my diet and adding a few different supplements hasn’t been difficult really, it’s simply required me to not be a slave to my taste buds. In reality once you know what not to eat then it just requires a few hours of internet research to find alternatives, obviously they aren’t exactly the same and the tastes just need a few tries to become acceptable, no big deal.. If I were to compare the feelings and sensations of a good day now to one only four months ago they would be like night and day. After such a good day on Wednesday I sort of expected an average day on Thursday, that wasn’t the case. Thursday was the best day I’ve had in five years, having years of 24/7 pain and frustration then to feel as good as I did Thursday was mind blowing, it really was. It was like hitting and passing a milestone, again I’m trying hard to not be overly optimistic, not grammatically correct but you know what I mean, Thursday could well be the beginnings of the change.

I’d be lying.

To a certain extent it was almost frightening on Wednesday, during the early part of the day particularly because I felt so good, everything I did from moving around the flat to simply the difference in my coordination and dexterity when opening supplement bottles or handling a pen and paper. It’s still surprising me as the improvements happen, okay at this time they are only with me for short periods, a matter of hours until a horrible debilitating weakness takes over, but again the opposite happens after a few hours rest or a decent sleep. So during the morning between 8.0 and 12.30.. ish… as the great feelings are strong my mind wanders, I stupidly remember being sick and weak to skip though my thoughts. I honestly believe that the mind, specifically the sub consciousness has a massive influence on your health, “if you think you can, or if you think you can’t…. you’re right“… that being said I have to take more control of my thoughts and accept that I truly am healing, admittedly it’s only 3 months and 1 week, the permanent effects are going to take years.  The title of this post…if I said today was good, I’d be lying because it was way better than that.

Slow down…

Monday was an interesting day, I think I’ve been feeling really good for about a week or more and the ever so little improvements appear to be staying with me, so much so that I’ve tended to move around a little better, still using walls and furniture but a little quicker and easier. I think I’ve put myself in several quite precarious positions of late and very luckily I’ve always got away with it. Until Monday that is, around lunchtime I was just returning from the bathroom and looking forward to my sweet potato fries. Moving a little quicker than I should have, my left foot scuffed on the carpet as my left leg was passing my right leg…. oops.. I fell very heavily, it all seemed to happen in slow motion until there was a really loud noise. I didn’t lose consciousness as my head cracked into the edge of the coffee table but I did see stars, lots of them. If my carer Megan hadn’t been there I’d have been up shit creek without a paddle. I could feel what felt like a  cup of warm liquid being poured over my head… no not really but the blood ran freely from my throbbing bonce. As I said Megan applied pressure and lots of paper towels for a good 10 minutes until it only slightly leaked. I’m writing this at 11.30 p.m. Monday, my head hurts a bit but no big deal, I say no big deal but there is a lump about as big as half a golf ball on the back of my head. But all in all I’m fine and I learned a good lesson today… yes you’re healing Stefan but SLOW DOWN.

Whatever it takes.

How to succeed at getting your life back, okay that’s not an easy thing to do for a person with MS, but we know but it is possible regardless of what the so called medical professionals tell you, not wanting to be disrespectful of them and their academic and medical qualifications but they have no intention of making you better. Their plan is to make things easier for you to cope with what they perceive to be an incurable disease. Back to my point, the first step is….

1) Have a plan,  have a purpose, you have just told yourself you have a future, you aren’t going to slide or slip into obscurity, you are going to regain your life.

2) Be strong, you aren’t going to rely on anyone else for your mental strength, Yes if course there is physical help you need but tell yourself that mentally you can do it.

3) Have enthusiasm, you can and will motivate yourself to be the best You, you can be.

4) Read Ann Boroch’s book… then read it again and let the principles of how she healed herself soak in and stick to them.

5) Self discipline, don’t tell yourself it’s okay to have a small sugary treat today because you’ll make up for it tomorrow. Be strong, it’s better to take one step forward and to stay there than it is by taking a step backwards. None of us are perfect, there’s always going to be stumbling blocks along the way, but that’s what they are, just stumbling blocks not dead ends.

I know I will succeed, it might take two or three years but I know that getting my life back is going to be so much better than being sick, be focused and committed to this, I am and  I know I will do whatever it takes.

Absolutely.

In 2002 I was living in Denver, Colorado in the U.S. I was newly married and was looking forward to an amazing life, It didn’t go as planned because after only one year I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I refused to take the prescribed medication because I just felt the drugs would be the worst thing I could do, at that time I didn’t have the knowledge I  have now but it just knew it was wrong.

My first attempt at trying to heal myself was a nutritional beverage called XanGo which in my humble opinion saved my life, I was able to keep the majority of symptoms at bay.

After six years my wife started to have an affair and in her opinion thought that it would be better to not be married to a man with MS so she divorced me. As I’m sure you can imagine it was difficult at first, I felt very vulnerable and isolated but in hindsight it was probably the best thing for me. I was able to dedicate my life to my job as the client service director for Dr Hal Huggins, my life was focused on helping others suffering with serious disease and was so rewarding.

It was very difficult in so many ways and after trying so many potential solutions and still getting sicker I eventually had to return home.

I’ve been back in England for five years now, I live alone and spend a lot of time reading and searching for a way to remove this hideous disease from my body. I honestly believe the pain, frustration and humiliation has helped me become a better man. I know that what I’m doing isn’t going to be  a quick fix, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow morning and be cured, but I do know that by sticking to this, by resisting temptation, that it will happen. I feel incredibly lucky, this unforgiving, unrelenting disease takes the lives of hundreds of thousands of people, but not me, no way because now I have the knowledge, I know the solution that was painstakingly discovered by an amazing woman, Ann Boroch.

There are thousands, hundreds of thousands in more pain than me, that are without the help and guidance that I’ve received, but I’ve  been given a chance and I’m grabbing it firmly and not wasting it, am I going to be cured?……Absolutely..