Rather Be Healthy

Will Power.

For me and everyone else on this very tough, demanding, frustrating, confusing,  journey, the one thing that will help us push through all the above emotions is a 100% commitment and belief that success and a return to good health is within our grasp. I’ve had what most people will think of as an adrenaline junkie existence, I’ve ridden at more than 145 mph on my Yamaha FZ1000 Genesis, not a particularly clever thing to do but it was me 20 years ago. Mind you as a speed thrill that didn’t rate much compared to a 180 mph head down no-lift  dive when skydiving, I’ve done 834 of them, skydives not no-lift dives. I was also a hang glider, SCUBA diver, mountain biker, rock climber and a pilot.  I’ve also been very lucky to have been to 21 countries and to have lived for eleven years in Colorado in the USA.

Having done so many wonderful things is all well and good,but it’s in the past and has no bearing or influence on this disease, it doesn’t discriminate between people from different countries, their gender, faith or lack of or if someone is good or bad, it just takes you, whoever or whatever you are.

Now when it comes to healing this so called incurable disease, the same  applies, as in if you follow and stick to the protocol then it matters not one iota who you are, your gender, your work, blue or white collar, if you do it as per plan and it will work.

Now there are going to be hiccups along the way, I personally have them on a regular basis, Monday was a pig for me but falls, frightening weakness and serious balance issues are particularly difficult to deal with as I live alone. But as I said, they are hiccups, it’ll be good on Tuesday (I’m writing this Monday evening). I’ve always believed that I’d heal myself, even ten years ago when at the time I’d been suffering with this for four years I kept telling myself I would find a way although I didn’t know specifically how, I just knew. Since reading the book and learning there was a documented record of the to beat this hideous disease,  my confidence is justified, now there’s proof. Now it’s not just down to my belief, now it’s the ABP added to my will power, it’s a done deal.

Should I be.

The ABP is a well proven protocol perfected by the late and great Ann Boroch curing herself of multiple sclerosis within just four years, since then, numerous others have gone on to do the same. Reading one of her books, specifically “Healing Multiple Sclerosis” filled me with a greater level of genuine hope and optimism for the future than any doctor, medical professional or method I’ve ever seen, used or read about since being diagnosed with this hideous disease in 2004. Unless you are unlucky enough to have it or are living with someone that does you can’t be expected to truly understand how this affects one’s life. It can transform you from a healthy active person as I was to just a mind living inside a body that you have very little control over and is in some degree of pain in a part of the non conforming body 24/7.

Anyway when I learnt about Ann Boroch, her achievements and more than two decades of health then her inexplicable death just over two months ago, I became very excited, nervous and quite frightened. Excited because she proved it isn’t incurable, nervous and frightened about my commitment and would I be able to follow the protocol correctly and if so would it work for me?

I see things very differently now, I’m still excited but the nerves and fear no longer exist in my life because now I have absolute confidence in the protocol and in my ability to do it. The only “Should I be” in my life now has nothing to do with being nervous or frightened, no, now it’s Should I be making plans for my future, the answer is “Hell yeah”.

Saturday.

What a great day that was, I’d made a couple of changes on Friday that had put me closer to complete compliance with the protocol and both Friday and Saturday were great, obviously my midday weakness was still there but as I mentioned yesterday the weakness wasn’t as radical as its previously been. I think the fact I have to drink almost two litres of water more than what is suggested on the ABP is a problem not everyone has but I’ve tried cutting down a couple of times before which resulted in major problems. About two years ago I’d told myself that it would be okay to cut back by a litre. I just didn’t drink as much in the morning, by about 10 am I collapsed and just didn’t have the strength to get up off the floor, frustrating and very humiliating as my bladder ignored the fact I couldn’t get up. Fortunately my niece who was my carer at the time responded to the text “help” I was able to send, when she arrived and helped me get into a kneeling position with my body resting on the sofa. She helped me by using a straw to drink half a litre of water, 30 minutes later I was able with assistance to get up. So five litres of water is about 40% more than suggested but believe me when I say in my case it’s absolutely necessary. Anyway yesterday was great and I’m 100% happy and committed to this, I know there will be days that are okay days or even bad days but I’m confident their number will be dwarfed by the good days….

Inspirational.

Over the past ten weeks I’ve attempted to follow the ABP, each day I’ve done what I felt was right although on several occasions I’ve either kicked myself in the butt because I’ve realised I was not being strict enough with myself then made the appropriate adjustments. However a couple of times the headmistress, oh sorry, Janet has very firmly but kindly put me straight on something I’d neglected to do which is to read and comprehend the labels. I think I need to apologize to myself and to Janet for not doing something that in reality is fundamental to succeeding. I know I will succeed but only if I pay attention, I’m actually really annoyed with myself for ignoring a procedure that’s absolutely necessary.

I think Friday was truly the first day of compliance even though the arrogant I know what I’m doing part of me thought I was but wasn’t doing it right. I did feel tired at 12.30 but not as tired and certainly not for as long. I felt stronger, more stable and coordinated and I believe that’s down to doing it right. As I’m writing this which is Friday at 11.30 p.m. I feel great and this past 15 hours have felt quite inspirational, I know I can cope quite comfortably with the restricted diet, the adjustment of foods, the 5 plus litres of water and the supplements have been considerably easier to swallow than my pride.

P.S. A comment, if it’s not working ad you or a loved one isn’t healing, it’s not because the ABP doesn’t work its because it’s not being done correctly, a simple fix….Do it right!!!!

Consistently surprising.

I start each day the same way, I can imagine my days would probably seem to be extremely boring to most people but it’s not to me even though in my pre MS life I was an extremely active man. I Start each day and make an assessment as to my overall condition and how the day is likely to proceed based on my ability to move around and if I’m feeling particularly weak or in pain. Well I’m always weak and in pain in comparison to a healthy person so it’s more a case of the levels of them. What is surprising me, very pleasantly is that I’m noticing far more positives than negatives, it isn’t a case of any improvements that happen remain at that level and can be added to positives from previous days, no they slide back. But what I am becoming more aware of is that a month ago I’d go one step forward and two steps back, that’s all changed now, the reverse is happening, now it’s two steps forward but only one back. So although there are daily improvements and negatives I’m more aware of my condition now as a positive in comparison to a few weeks ago. There are definitely specific times that I could complain of my weakness or uncoordinated movement but in reality there are improvements that are consistently surprising me. If you were to take a snapshot of the good and bad now and compared them to snapshot of good and bad a month ago, the good would be significantly better and the bad wouldn’t anywhere near as bad. I’ve said this many times before and I’m probably going to say it another thousand times, thanks Janet.

Not all good.

Most days I write about the positive things that are happening, I believe in being positive and optimistic, as far as I’m concerned that’s a far better place to be, positive attracts positive… right! there’s no point, no future in whining, “oh woe is me, why am I always suffering”, if that’s what you send out then that’s what’ll keep coming back. So my attitude is that I’m so grateful for the improvements that are happening, there’s no doubt in my mind, not a single iota of concern or worry, “I am getting better, my condition IS improving”…  So saying these things must mean that I’m in a great place physically and mentally because of all the positives right!! Well not exactly, it’s not all good all the time, the positives happen yes but it’s not a cumulative effect, I’m not as weak or as unstable as I was but…. I’m still weak just not as weak as I was, my weakness, instability and pain was bad, if I consider that at level 10 then the improvements overall have moved me to level 9, it’s better definitely but it’s still freaking horrible when considered to a 24 hour condition. I’m not healed, I can’t walk or sleep on my back, if I do I can’t sit up in the morning, I end up sliding off the bed and spending half an hour completely exhausting myself trying to get up off the floor, it’s so frustrating and painful so now I sleep sitting up. But…. and this is such a big but, when I look at how things are now in comparison to how they were and how they would have been if I hadn’t been so, so lucky to have been told about Ann Boroch and her protocol. I have MS but my condition is improving just because I do things differently than I did 10 weeks ago, in the grand scheme of things my life is better and the very small improvements, small and subtle as they seem, are massive to me. I will stick to this because it works unlike the drugs and contrary to all the naysayers, the medical professionals that say multiple sclerosis is incurable, no it’s not all good but it is a damn site better than it was and I for one am so happy about it.

What’s important.

In February of 2004 I was living and working in Denver, Colorado, I was married and enjoying my work at that time in the I.T. industry, my wife was a graphic designer and successfully ran her own business. Between the two of us we earned very good money, we both had new cars and our house was worth close to half a million dollars, on paper it sounds good but in reality it wasn’t because I had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and we had a horrendous mortgage. As I’m sure you can imagine having a huge financial commitment, a stressful job and just being told that the incurable disease you had would mean that the chance of you working in a stressful environment for much longer was slim to none. To make matters worse, the woman I was lead to believe would be with me for better or worse, in sickness and in health decided that she would much rather be with a different guy with lots of money. Initially this was horrendous for me but in hindsight I was much better off being on my own. Five years after divorce I was back in England and in a better position to deal with my health. For the first four years I stuck to my knowledge and experience that I’d gain during a several year period working for a great man, I also did lots of research and tried multiple things, programs, protocols that would supposedly help, some did, a bit but most didn’t that was until I was told about a incredible woman that cured, not eased or alleviated her symptoms but cured herself. Okay up to date, two and bit months into following her protocol I’m feeling better and more optimistic than I have for a very long time. Since November 2012 when I returned there’s been several really bad days, numerous falls and times that I honestly was so close to ending it all. The past ten weeks have changed everything as far as my belief in being healthy again and going on my date…

Having a great job, big house, great car, very active social life is all well and good, I was proud of my achievements, making a good life in America, but in reality all I had pales into insignificance now, the only thing that matters, the only thing that’s important is my health and because of Mary in Wisconsin, Janet Orchard and Ann Boroch I will once again have it.

Don’t be a D### ###d.

On Monday morning I felt great, stronger and more stable than I normally do in the morning, I usually go and sit down, have my first supplements and drink two mugs of red clover tea, but I felt better than normal so Instead I went in the kitchen to get my breakfast and the two drinks from the fridge. That took about 10 minutes then I returned to my normal position on the sofa to write yesterday’s post. The fact that I’d not had the liquids I’d normally drink made a difference, it was then that I realised I’d made a big mistake because I had gone from feeling really good to being really weak just because of not having the drink and salt tabs. To go from one extreme to the other in 20 minutes was horrible. I realised about ten years ago that the salt tablets, 2 x 320 mg are absolutely essential for me, just frustrating that I could be so stupid to think it would be ok to be physically active, okay just standing but physical for me, before getting two things that are fundamentally necessary to me. Huh.. can you believe It….

Now write this on the board 100 times….Stefan don’t be a D#######D (substitute an appropriate description)… and I will follow the rules…

Primary goal.

When I wake which is normally around 5.30 am, I usually start my day by drinking, no not alcohol but water…. before I get up I have to drink a litre of water with bicarbonate of soda, contrary to the general belief that salt is bad for you and obviously bicarb is a form of salt, good salt not the crappy nutritionally bereft table salt, good salts are absolutely necessary. So Himalayan Crystal salt is best, I either use sole, pronounced “soley” or bicarb first thing. Then I look at what I’ve written or if not, I write for my almost daily post. It’s not as if people are waiting or expecting to read what I write but I sort of feel I have to, I’ve made a commitment to myself that I will get healthy, I will follow this amazing protocol and see it through. I can’t sit in the corner feeling sorry for myself, I can’t stamp my feet and demand someone else fixes me, no this is my problem, my health and the only one, the only thing that will change that is me…. if I do what’s right, if I follow the guidelines and stick to the plan, if I stay away from the foods that may well taste good but that’s because of bad stuff, if I do this and have commitment and mental strength then I’ll win, there’s no if’s or but’s, it’s a forgone conclusion. So getting back to my point, am I becoming Ronnie Corbett, my point is that the primary goal of my writing is to kick myself up the backside and stay focused and motivate myself, bear with me, please.

So careful.

This will be posted on Sunday November 5th but at the time of writing it’s Saturday afternoon, I felt compelled to write now because of how I feel and it’s likely to be different in a few hours so my optimism and enthusiasm will probably be at a lesser level. This morning as in Saturday after I had been to the bathroom, got dressed and had breakfast, I actually felt better than at any other time in years, I know I’ve said this before but you have to understand that the progress on this protocol if done correctly will constantly improve. The title of this post is So Careful and that’s referring to my actions and attitude to what’s happening. It’s oh so easy to feel good and then act as if the body I live in is perfectly capable of moving normally. I almost fell earlier, not because I’m weak or unsteady, no, it was because I tried to do something physically I had no right to even contemplate. As it happens I didn’t fall but it was only because of my cat-like reflexes…. okay maybe not quite cat-like exactly but good for an old geezer with MS.

I can tell you it’s an incredibly good feeling just knowing things are better than they were a couple of months ago. Whether you know me from ten, twenty or thirty years ago or through social media or wherever…. be happy for me, my life is changing for the better.

Now it’s Sunday morning and the great feelings from Saturday morning…. have……. not gone, yay, still feeling good.