Rather Be Healthy

Better than.

Okay let’s be realistic here, and I’m talking to the ones like me reading this, when you were diagnosed with MS, mine was Feb 04, the neurologist probably told you in a matter of fact, not necessarily an understanding of sympathetic way that after the multitude of testing, the MRI, the CAT scan, ultrasound, lumbar puncture and EEG said that you had Multiple Sclerosis, an incurable disease and you’d have to start and be on medication for life, however long that might be. By the way I refused to take the addictive treat a symptom drug and was chastised by the neurologist and told I’d be in a wheelchair in six months, it’s nearly fourteen years and I’m not there and have no intention of letting that happen.  I think that statement is exactly the right one to use….. listen to the drug pushers, A.K.A. doctors and neurologists and live a life of depression and negativity or…. or don’t let that happen by following a proven, tried and tested method of healing your diseased body. Do your own research and look up the many diseases that are rife today that never existed 75 years ago, and No, it’s not anything to do with more advanced research it’s simply down to the pharmaceutical giants creating disease through the side effects of drugs. Google any drug and you will see a huge list of possible side effects.

Anyway the point of this post is this, compare how you are now to how you were pre ABP, you might not be cured…. yet.. but there is no doubt in my mind that I’m better than I was before.

The Healing Journey.

It’s Thursday afternoon and I feel an overwhelming desire to write about my current situation, I know these posts are read mostly by healthy people but for others like me with this hideous disease, multiple sclerosis I wanted to hopefully inspire them. As I’ve said before I was initially diagnosed in February 04, three years later I met and started working for Dr Hal Huggins who himself had MS. He’d been able to keep 99% of his symptoms at bay using a unique line of supplements he had created. So my years with him (4) helped educate me in the right nutrition and supplements, sadly by November 2012 what I was doing was not enough to enable me to keep working so I left Colorado and returned to England. Obviously I continued with what I thought was best for me nutritionally and with my supplements. Gluten and dairy were eliminated and refined sugar was restricted to 8g to 10g per day. In August I met Janet Orchard  through Facebook and although I felt optimistic there were still small doubts that the Ann Boroch method would truly work for me. Since officially starting on September 1st I’ve tried as best I could to follow the program but it still felt as though something was wrong, Janet asked to see exactly what I was taking, a line of supplements from a company called Youngevity, in my mind the supplements are the best but Janet pointed out the fructose content of one particular drink. Since that’s been eliminated only two weeks ago, the improvements have been significant, no I can’t walk unaided, no I’m not cured but the changes in how I feel both mentally in this arrogant noggin of mine and physically are so nice. For anyone new or old to this, stop thinking you know best or you just couldn’t live without your morning coffee and just have faith, the program works, if it’s not it’s probably because you  aren’t doing it properly.

Same only better.

I was up early on Wednesday morning after a good night’s sleep, five and a half hours of unbroken sleep is good for me, so after an hours read and writing yesterday’s post I got up. I felt strong and stable so made a little breakfast, had two mugs of red clover tea, my morning supplements and I was ready for the new day. During the morning I had a delivery of an expected parcel, because I live in a flat, an apartment, a visitor or someone delivering something rings the bell, it takes almost a minute for me to stop what I’m doing then manoeuvre my way to the other side of the room to answer the caller and let them into the building. That normally wears me out, I know that’s pathetic but that’s what it is. Anyway unlike  previous days I didn’t feel knackered which as I’m sure you can understand really pleased me. I try not to think about feeling good or bad during the day, if things aren’t a problem then I just do whatever feels comfortable, obviously I’ve learned a very painful lesson from previous mistakes so I naturally just go with the flow. It’s now Wednesday evening and I’m ok with assessing how my day has been, I was able to do all I needed to do, I didn’t feel overly tired, I rested after lunch and meditated for a couple of hours. So how was my Wednesday? same as Tuesday only better.

I sometimes wonder why I write for my blog, I have received well over 2 million hits to www.ratherbehealthy.com,  I have comments from all over the world… literally, it’s strange seeing comments that may or may not be complimentary from China and Japan, I’m guessing because of the writing. Anyway I imagine 80% or 90% have nothing to do with me or my illness but that doesn’t bother me, it is what it is. I sometimes write when I’m in bed at night reflecting on my day or like now at 6.30 am preparing my mind for the day. As I’ve said, I live alone but I’m never lonely, I don’t get down or depressed, I think that’s because I’m competitive, I was infected with this disease nearly 20 years ago, wow that’s just shocked me. My official diagnosis was not until 2004 but I’d had the early symptoms as far back as 1997, so nearly a third of my life has been coping with it. Anyway back to my point, I’ve always seen this as a squatter illegally taking up residence in my body and that I would just have to keep fighting this unwanted resident until I could evict it, a challenge, almost a dare and one I refused to back down from, ok I tried my best using the knowledge I’d gained from working for Dr Hal Huggins in Colorado and although that was great, it wasn’t enough. However, I’m in a far better position now, now I’m following a tried, tested and proven protocol so now unlike the many, many years I felt like I was fighting a losing battle, but in my typical I won’t be beaten obstinate way I’ve  refused to accept defeat, now it’s different, now at last I’m on the winning team and I know why I write, to constantly motivate myself.

The good, the bad and the…..

When I started the AB program officially in September I was well aware that making changes in my diet and adding certain supplements that there would be changes, I knew there would be good days and bad days and over a long period of time that the good would outnumber the bad. As far as when these changes would happen I didn’t know or how good or bad they’d be. Well after only six weeks there are very positive improvements and I think the fact I’d definitely been in a better position than most others when I started has and is playing a significant part in my journey. I’d been gluten and dairy free for several years and most importantly I had restricted my sugar intake to under 10 grams per day for the previous 7 years. I am positive that using two Zappers for several hours each day and getting a lot of advice from the group, especially Janet has helped significantly so I’m very happy about my progress. Am I cured? obviously not and I wouldn’t expect that, but the good days have got better and the bad days are fewer and definitely nowhere near as bad, as far as the ugly days, well they’re non existent.

Should I.

Should I be disappointed….. . Should I be angry…. .. Should I feel sorry for myself… ..  I live alone, I am on my own 23 hours each day, it’s easy to spend a lot of time thinking, reflecting and remembering better times and when I do I think about things like skydiving and riding fast motor-bikes. There are many, many things I’ve done as an ex-adrenalin junkie that most sane people wouldn’t even consider, but those things were a major part of my life and unlikely to happen again. I’m not a young man anymore, sadly, I know that against all odds I will get my health back, regardless of what every neurologist, doctor, nurse and health practitioner has said, I would love to have them all in a room a few years from now and see their faces when I walk in saying….. nah na, na nah na…. As it stands I am definitely better in so many ways even if I do fall occasionally, the odd fall and stumble have happened because I’ve felt confident and tried to move as a healthy person would, so in some ways it’s been my own stupid fault. As I’ve taken advice and used my common sense, I’ll do my very best to take more care and as has been pointed out in a very caring way, to listen to my body and let it dictate the speed of renewal.

So to answer the three questions above… the answer is  No  100%.. but should I be proud of myself, hell yeah…

It’s confusing.

First thing Saturday morning and I can honestly say I felt better than I have in years, really, okay yes I was still limited to shuffling from pieces of furniture to walls to move around but the fact is I felt confident and positive. After lunch I still went to bed for a few hours but not because I needed to, I went more as a safety precaution. Obviously of late I’ve actually needed to go, so rather than feeling that way in an hour and struggling I felt it safer to go at 12.30 which I did. I felt good in myself so returned to the living room at 4.30. During the three hours I read for an hour or so then meditated, when I returned to watch Two and  half men which I’d recorded I still felt good. This is the confusing part, a couple of hours later I was so weak and unstable, it’s actually quite frightening, my legs were like jelly and I really struggled to even hold my walker. I really cannot understand why that is happening, going from one extreme to the other. Please understand that this isn’t shaking my confidence or putting doubts in my head, I still believe in this program 100%,  it’s just  so confusing, any thoughts, Janet, Marianne, anyone?

The way.

I realise now that my situation is not unique, there was a time not that long ago that I honestly believed that most other MS sufferers were simply accepting the diagnosis of the conventional doctors and as such just took the prescribed medication. I’ve often spent time in consideration of what and how I was addressing my illness. I’m sure some others, family and friends thought I was totally wrong by refusing medication, I have a real problem with even saying medication, it’s just an addictive drug created by selfish money grabbing heartless pariahs. I have always told myself that multiple sclerosis in my case was only a temporary thing, I didn’t know how I’d beat it, I just knew I would. I’m sure this attitude was seen by others as denial. My MS nurse came to see me last week and I know she’s only doing what she knows and that is to try and make my life easier, not by healing me but by suggesting things that put less strain on my muscles. That to me is just assisting the disease to get a firmer grip in my already weakened state. She thinks and states that I’m just an accident waiting to happen, I should use a wheelchair permanently and not try to manually manoeuvre about my flat. I can’t look at my life that way, I honestly believe that thinking positively about the outcome is the only way any of us will not just survive but to succeed. I fall yes but when I’m crumpled in a heap on the floor I don’t moan or complain about it, it’s not a good thing obviously but I think about it, have I broken my leg? no, have I done permanent damage? no so get up and get on. That’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my fall on Thursday left me with my legs twisted underneath me, my body twisted and my head and neck at a very awkward angle jammed against the wall. It took several minutes just to be in a prone position on the floor, I couldn’t get up onto the sofa so I spent about 30 minutes crawling to my bedroom and another 30 trying to get up. When I eventually did I was totally exhausted, but it happened, big deal, it was a page in my book of life, no more. If my book is a 1,000 pages then my MS experience will probably account for 150 of them which means I’ve got 850 healthy ones. Multiple sclerosis is a part of my life but it isn’t my life, I know there’s still some MS pages left in my book but there’s at least 150 healthy ones to follow them. I’ve just got to be strong mentally, not do anything stupid and get prepared for the good times to come, and they will, that’s the way I see it..

Over confident.

The program is the program, it works and when it’s followed correctly the results will come, however there are no identical MS sufferers, the disease affects everyone uniquely, because of age, gender, age at getting it, the location , the altitude, stress or lack of it, single or with someone. You get my drift, everyone is different so it stands to reason that the results, the speed of improvements will vary. I know all this and should get it through my thick skull that the improvements happen as and when the body, the place you live tells you it’s ready to do certain things. I’m saying this as a way to actually acknowledge what I know and react accordingly not tell myself that I should be able, regardless of my body saying “no, not yet”. Case in point… I’m feeling better and better in lots of ways, mentally and physically, my coordination and dexterity, my writing is much better, now it looks like actual writing as opposed to a doctor’s prescription. Yes those things are better, “but Stefan, you can’t walk unaided yet”. That’s what I tried to do at 6.40 p.m on Thursday. but as expected the legs didn’t comply with the brain and guess what happened, yes you’re right, crash… but rubber me bounced off the wall using the numb part on top of my neck, my head. I think that secretly my noggin enjoys the firm physical contact with its old friend the wall. Anyway it was an hour later that my specialised commando crawl got me the 15 feet to my bed… hmmm maybe I’m not a super fit 25 yr old anymore as my ego thinks. The lesson for the day is “stop being overconfident”.