Rather Be Healthy

Rules.

I think highly of myself in so many ways, the illness that is squatting in my body is trying it’s hardest to ruin my life, it’s trying to take everything away from me, but regardless of the pain, frustration and despondency I feel I still try my hardest to keep doing what I believe is the best way of overcoming he who shall not be named.

I get frustrated with myself because on occasion I give in and allow myself to indulge, some foods mainly but also by not sticking to the regimen I’ve set myself. It’s too easy to say to myself that I deserve to have or do something that is initially good but has a negative impact long term.

So I’m telling myself off, I’m making a promise to myself that I will strictly adhere to the protocol, my protocol and there’s no excuse, no justification for deviating, from now on no lying to myself, from now on Stefan you follow the rules.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is [email protected]

Jigsaw puzzle.

Imagine if you woke up one day and were told that from this day on your life would revolve around a jigsaw puzzle, you wouldn’t be able to leave the room you were in until the puzzle was completed. Definitely a challenge especially as the puzzle wasn’t the normal 1000 piece or even 5,000 pieces. No, it was 50,000 pieces, now that was going to be hard but not impossible. Now this is where it starts to get more complicated and much more challenging because at the end of the day regardless of the progress you’d made, the puzzle would be scrambled again meaning the following day you’d start from scratch again. Bugger….

But what if apart from the stupid rules that you have no choice but to abide by, what if everyday regardless of the progress you made that not only was the puzzle scrambled that you were given a totally different puzzle so apart from some straight sides or corner pieces nothing else or no other rules were the same. Ok now this is bad but it gets worse if you can believe that. On top of all that your ability to operate and function was being restricted everyday, things like wearing thick gloves so picking up little pieces was really hard and each day you had to add a pound of weight to a weight belt. After an undefined period the gloves have become boxing gloves and the weight belt has become a 15 stone monkey on your back.

Does that all sound frustrating…..welcome to my world…

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is [email protected]

Having been alive for 61 years, there has been several versions of me remembered by a lot of people. The first version was a cute little cheeky lad that could get away with murder and often tried the patience of my incredible mother and every adult that knew me. I think as a kid I was so lucky to have survived the unforgiving streets of Liverpool in the fifties, sixties and seventies. As a boy soldier, then soldier in the army I suppose I will be remembered as a decent mate, nothing special but an OK guy. There are some who probably remember the guy that lived in Yorkshire and worked in textile printing at Albert Hartley’s, he was the scouser that was a really young supervisor on the night shift, oh yes and he won a Superstars competition. There are ex girlfriends that might remember me as, hmmm, not sure really. There are probably quite a few people that remember me in hopefully a positive way as an OK skydive that often went for a run or ride on his mountain bike on Sunday mornings if there was no jumping. People will remember the English guy that worked for Dr Huggins in Colorado Springs, a good go between for the great man. More recently there are doctors and nurses and delivery men from Sainsbury’s that remember me as the guy with MS at flat 3.

Well I am not any one of those people, I’m all of them, I was young and flirty with the women, I was the guy that played rugby, I was a soldier, I was a computer salesman that worked in London, I was the Client Service Director for Dr Huggins and yes I do have MS but like every phase of my life, it’s all temporary, at this time I have MS, but MS doesn’t have me. If there is a definition of me it will be “The scouser that beat MS”.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is [email protected]

Out of the blue..

I firmly believe that having an optimistic view on life and remaining positive is essential to not just surviving but enjoying what we have. I might not be in a fantastic place just now but it could be so much worse so I’m grateful for what I have. I haven’t sat and thought about this post, I’m writing what and how I feel right at this moment. I’ll not go into specifics but something special happened today, it involved chatting with an old friend from the US, someone I have the greatest respect for. As I said I’m not going to go into details but what’s going to happen could very well have a dramatic impact on my health and my life, I truly believe everything happens for a reason. As and when these things happen I’ll share more detail as it’s likely to help others as well.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is [email protected]

Perspective.

Since Tuesday I’ve been feeling bad, mentally not physically, since I wrote about the possibility of going to a clinic for stem cell therapy but not getting a response about needing help. It might not seem like a bad thing to you but for me it was such a horrible shock. When I lived in Colorado I often talked to my American friends about the bond I had with the people I knew through skydiving, primarily the Sibson crew. In my view, my memories of a ten year period were just amazing. Maybe because I was unable to get back for the anniversaries that those special memories have been removed from everyone else’s mind regarding me, the weekends were so good, the “night naked jumps off the bridge” and lots of great times. For me, getting MS in 04 has meant a gradual reduction in my life physically to the point that I’m in my flat 24/7. I’m not depressed or lonely, I know the past twelve years since official diagnosis have limited me dramatically but in my heart I know things will change for the better. I don’t know when it will happen but I know it will and I cannot let any doubts, fears or negativity enter my head. I know none of you meant any harm by not saying anything but it was like a kick in the balls to me, I think my view on what i perceived as friendship is very different, I shouldn’t have voiced my opinion, but now now I have a completely different perspective, my bad.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is stef.cairns@yahoo

On Monday I wrote about the possibility of me having therapy that has a very good chance of saving my life, a question I posed at the end of the post asked if there was anyone of my friends that would be willing to go with me to offer help in getting about while at the clinic which would likely be in the Ukraine. I explained that it’s something I felt very positively about and that at this time it’s only an “If”, there is a slim chance that it might happen and if it did then the person coming with me would have nothing to pay, I would take care of all the financial requirements, flights and accommodation etc. The only thing I’d require would be things like pushing my wheelchair. I asked for comments and gave my email thinking some people might prefer to keep this private. Well my thoughts about what I felt was friendship and how I know I’d react to a friend in need were totally different to what I thought would happen. Guess  how many responses there were from “friends”, just comments like, ” I would like to but it’s just not practical “, or “sorry I couldn’t do it”, or yes Stefan, if given a couple of months notice then yes I could do it……. None, not a single “friend” responded……surprised….very much, and very, very disappointed.

www.twitter.com/ratherbehealthy

If you’d like to help me as I am now disabled and operate this site on my own then please consider donating, you can do this by going to www.paypal.com then click on Send money.

You’ll be asked to enter the email of the person which is me and my email is stef.cairns@yahoo